That thing I said I wasn’t going to do this month

crazy brain

This might as well be me.

Obsess. That’s the thing I wasn’t going to do.

I wasn’t going to obsess over when my new cycle might start as I knew it would be weird with the miscarriage last month. And I was just going to be a chilled out little monkey in a Just call me Yoda kind of way. But guess what? I’m actually not a Just call me Yoda kinda girl. I’d like to be. But I’m not. And I should know this by now. Continue reading

A funky little headspace

Ugh. I simply cannot figure out how to write this post and that’s a bit of a strange experience for me. Suddenly it’s like I don’t know how to convey my feelings.

As you know, things have mostly been going along OK since the miscarriage. Looking at it now I should have expected there would be a crash at some point. I was doing far too well, even I thought it was strange. In fact, I thought it was kind of wrong that I wasn’t more outwardly devastated. I had a couch day last Wednesday and got up Thursday all perky and normal, feeling fine. I had my moments but really, I was bumbling along alright. Continue reading

Pumped and ready to rumble

Hello hello gorgeous bloggy friends. I hope life is treating you all well and making lots of smiley happy faces in the place where you live.

I am fabulous post holiday. I will post some eye candy of our trip in the coming days (read: when I’m laid up after my op and have nothing better to do but write posts and watch TV) but the short version is IT ROCKED and I fell in love with Squamish. Such a pretty little area of BC. Continue reading

IUI#3 – 12dpIUI – It’s all over red rover

Well I don’t  know what that faint line was that I thought I saw. Wishful thinking?

Anyway woke this morning with a full bleed so the fairies didn’t  bless us with a baby this month but we will keep asking.

We at least have so many plans for the future with this new clinic that I feel less disappointed than I would have if all my hopes were hanging on this outcome. Onwards and upwards eh?

Thanks for all the support last night with my crazy line post. You guys ROCK.

IUI #3 – 11dpIUI – I tested

Yes I tested, of course I did. It’s so stupid early for a test. I didn’t even do it with the wake up wee so I can’t even really be sure it was prime testing conditions but anyway I TESTED because…CURIOUS.

And I got a freaking squinter. I hate squinters. So far for me they usually mean chemical pregnancies so I DO NOT have a lot of faith in the suckers.

Plus there’s the whole “oh it could be an evap line” although to be fair I could see the squinter after the 3 mins and the evap line is normally if you see it an hour later or something like that. So that’s where we are at.

Given that we seem to mostly get abnormal embryos AND my recent blood tests were all weird I am not holding out hope for a successful pregnancy. And I can’t even tell Eric because he told me not to test (of course he did). As if, Eric. As if.

Preparing for the main event

I had no idea when we embarked on this quest for a second child that the journey would be far different to the sprint we ran to get baby no. 1. In comparison to this journey, which feels more and more like a marathon every day, baby no. 1 was an easy 5k. You know what? I think 5k is probably even a strech. We did more like a 100m dash. No hurdles.

As we’ve progressed through the process I have come to realise that the race hasn’t even begun yet. Not really. Continue reading