Beta #2 – we’re still in the game

Well this has been an excruciating couple of days. When I saw the Dr this morning I told her it was harrowing. Then I felt over dramatic but whatever. It’s definitely been up and down.

Yesterday I did another HPT with FMU and the line was as strong as the one I got on Monday. I thought that was interesting. And then I noticed I was having a few small pregnancy symptoms – mostly sore boobs and a big sensitivity to smells. So I started to build up hope a little more yesterday that maybe the test was really early and that’s why the number was so low. Continue reading


Beta only 18

So I guess the lighter test did mean something after all.

My beta is low and likely too low to indicate a pregnancy that will sustain itself at this late stage.

I am having a second blood test on Thursday morning to confirm all this.

The thing that bothers me most about this outcome is it is the same problem I have been having all along – dodgy fertilisation resulting in abnormal embryos – which means that that endo removal might not have done the trick after all.

I can start my stims as soon as my bleed starts and my HCG is zero so I can still head straight into next cycle. However I’m not feeling as hopeful about this cycle now. I mean, this fertilisation issue still seems to be in play.

Anyway, I guess my intuition let me down this time. Boo.

The second test….hmmmmm

I rushed back from the shops just now to take a second crack at peeing on the magical stick. The line is lighter. Hmmmmm  I’ve been here before.  The only thing I will say is that it wasn’t FMU (but neither was yesterday’s) and it was after only an hour of holding (yesterday it was a good 3-4 hours since I’d peed). The time delay helps with HCG concentration apparently. So I’m still none the wiser and slightly more crazy.

I just did a 2 hour round trip just to get a blood test at my clinic this morning. It seems a slightly loopy thing to do but if they prefer I get bloods done there then I’ll have them done there. I’ll jump through any hoops they damn well please given that they seem to have gotten me pregnant.

Despite the lighter line I am still optimistic. For some reason I refuse to believe this isn’t going to be a thing this time. I have no idea why but that’s just where I’m at. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong and that’s ok. Getting to believe in it for however short a timeframe is a pretty damn awesome experience. It is exactly 12 months since I last saw 2 two lines on a stick and that was a damn squinter so this experience is exhilarating no matter the outcome.

I’m expecting beta results in 2-3 hours. I’ll let you know. I’m going to beg for a second test in 2 days. I need to the reassurance. NEED it.

The OMFG, I can’t believe this is happening update

You always hear about those chicks who fall preggers right before their IVF cycle. I have always thought that would be the coolest thing ever to happen but had kind of given up on it happening to me.

Well ye of little faith and all because here I am and it’s happening. Wooo!

Updates so far:

1. I am going to the clinic before 8:30am tomorrow morning to get a blood test. They do them inhouse so will have my results by midday. They want to check my progesterone as well as the HCG so they can give me some support if need be.

2. No one seems to give a rats about the cream.

I am REALLY excited. I don’t know why but I just have a good feeling about this one (hope I am not totally jinxing myself by saying that). According to the online pregnancy calculator (oh so accurate of course and don’t judge me for already checking) my baby is due 30 March 2016. What a great day to have a baby!

Oh man, I am off with the fairies.

Thank you to everyone for all your awesome messages so far. I will write back when the dust settles. I need to get back to work. Pregnancy excitement is making a me a little ineffective today!!

Yikes, cannot believe it. I am PREGNANT.


2015-07-27 10.59.35 v2

I am quite honestly in a state of shock over this.

I am now on day 34 of my cycle and I have been waiting waiting waiting for AF to arrive so I can start IVF #4.

This is not my first test either by the way. It’s not like it just occurred to me today that I might be pregnant. I tested on Day 26 and Day 30. Both of those were snowy white negatives.

So I am blown away by the outcome today. I basically only tested as I thought for god’s sake, I do not have a 34 day cycle. What the hell is going on? I have one more test so I might just do it and see. Continue reading

IVF #4 – It’s all going to be OK

Well, AF that rotten bitch (she’s never nice, is she?) STILL hasn’t shown up. I was almost losing the plot about it all yesterday. I actually got myself quite depressed about it and could barely move off the couch in the afternoon as I was feeling all woe is me.

I got up today with a much better attitude.  Last night my neighbour reminded me that the date my cycle starts actually isn’t my responsibility. And that if the days won’t work well that it is actually the clinic’s job to figure that out – not mine. I just report in with the info and it’s up to them to work out how I get my meds and start my needles on Day 3. As I’m such a control freak I have such a tendancy to want to be the one who organises everything. It is like I have to find the solution even when the problem doesn’t belong to me. Continue reading

IVF #4 – Hanging out in the waiting zone

Far out, I feel like this priming has taken FOREVER. I was so excited to start and the time was zipping on by but then we got to two weeks out and the whole thing felt like it came to a stand still.

I have essentially been visualising a mental calendar seventy squillion times a day for the last two weeks. 12 days to go. Check later that day. Count. Ok so 12 days to go. And repeat. I am slowly sending myself MAD. It’s a self created fucking 2WW. What sort of idiot puts themselves into that? Oh me. Yes, that would be me. ANYWAY. Continue reading