Experiencing pregnancy for the second time round is such an eye opener. During your first pregnancy you spend a lot of time thinking about the birth and trying to be prepared and all that jazz. Then once the baby pops out and you get past those early months the memories of the birth start to fade a little. And as time goes by they fade even more and you start wonder what all that fuss was about for a day that is only one day in the many days you get to have with your baby. It is bizarre.
But here I am, pregnant again, and obsessing about birth. OBSESSING. I think part of this is due to the fact that I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that the baby came early and I hadn’t done enough prep so it has really lit a fire under me. I am in a birth prep frenzy!
Yeah it is only one day (or in my case last time it was two) and provided baby and I are both healthy and well at the end of the process it won’t really matter in the long run but if I can make the day better this time then I am really keen to give that a go. I think the prep is amplified by the fact that I know that this time, no matter how bad it gets, I will not have the option of having an epidural so I need to be tough and squeeze this little darling out while feeling every little stretch. And to do that in the best way possible I need to don my girl scout panties and be prepared. Continue reading
This post is going to get a bit medical so if that does not float your boat then don’t feel you have to read just because you normally follow my blog. I just want to write about it for the record and for that handful of people in the world that need to know this stuff for their own personal reasons.
Ok so in 1991 when I was 14 years old I was a dumb dumb who got into the car of my boyfriend (along with my best friend and her boyfriend) even though I was forbidden to by my mum, and lo and behold the dummy loses control of it and slams it into a telegraph pole.
It was back before all cars had retractable seatbelts in the back (girls in back, boys in front apparently) and my adjustable seatbelt wasn’t adjusted to be tight for me. So it fell down my shoulder in the crash and flicked forward in a way that gave me a bunch of crazy injuries including a fracture of the T12/L1 vertebrae in my spine. As my internal injuries were of more pressing importance my back was basically left alone to heal on its own. I was just had to lay flat on my back and not move which was pretty easy in the early days as I was quite out of it. Continue reading
Holy cow, I’m HALFWAY. Halfway! Half-fucking-way. I almost can’t believe it. It is craaaaaaazy. After so long trying to make this baby and the chemical pregnancies and the miscarriage and failed IVF cycles and surgery we are here, half way to an actual baby.
Apparently baby is the size of a rockmelon (ok, ok, canteloupe) and well, it looks like I am rocking a melon under my shirt so that would be about right. See! Hubba bubba!
(btw…my bump looks a bit weird as I have a scar going right across it from abdo surgery when I was young – it makes a funny little bump dent which I think makes me also pop out more than others might at the same stage). Continue reading
Today was the day I fell head over heels in love with my baby.
I had no idea how much this milestone was riding me but clearly it was because after staring and staring at these photos of baby girl this afternoon I have felt the floodgates in my heart just open up and let her in. Continue reading