Warning: this post is a bit braggy

So after my shower today I decided to jump on the scales to see where it is all at and you guys, I’m only 3kgs off my pre-pregnancy weight at 12 days post partum! How good is that? As I’m breastfeeding I haven’t focused on weight loss at all, just trying to eat regular healthy meals. So this was a pleasant surprise.

Of course, my pre-pregnancy weight (64kgs) was 6 kgs above my usual weight so I actually have more than 3kgs to lose but still, small steps. Pre-pregnancy weight is the first one and I am almost there and so pleased!

Don’t worry, I’m not smashing it out of the park with everything. My house is piling up around me like nobody’s business. Last night Monkey wet the bed and because there are already three of us in our bed with the baby waking for regular feeds I had to set him up on the floor next to me on a mattress and in a sleeping bag. 

While I’m having a bitch let me tell you about my mother in law this morning. She sent me a third email (from Europe where she is at the moment) asking me to please send her photographs as she can’t share my Facebook ones with all her friends because of my privacy settings and Eric’s dad doesn’t do Facebook (she put that bit in bold and underline – I kid you not) so he can’t see them either. When she sent the second email last week I moaned to my mum about it and so she sent her some photos from her phone. Well MIL says to me in this email today that my mum kindly sent some from her iPhone but they aren’t very good quality so would I please send more. 

I was furious. Why is it my problem if her friends can’t see my Facebook photos or her ex husband doesn’t have Facebook? I wrote back and told her pretty much that and that my priority right now isn’t to sort them all out with pictures while I’m trying to adjust to life with 2 children, one of which feeds 24/7 and has been sick. If she wants to hassle someone about it again, as yes I’d received all 3 of her emails, then she could get onto her son about it and not me. And perhaps if they’d like to see more of their granddaughter they could work on being in the country. I read it to Eric first to get permission to send it and he green lighted it so off it went. FAR OUT that woman sends me spare.

So yes poor little Holly wound up sick and in hospital. It was the most terrifying moment of my life to date rocking up there with a baby who won’t stop sleeping or wake for feeds. I actually held her and sobbed that day and begged her not to leave me. It felt like just when she was here safe and well something awful was going to happen and she’d be taken away. These are the scars of infertility, my friends. They never leave you. Anyway, it wasn’t as bad as all that even though I was clearly hysterical. She caught her big brother’s virus poor little chicken. We spent 2 nights in and she was very brave but is doing so well now. The downside is that my supply went down as she wasn’t feeding much so we had to spend all day yesterday with her attached to my breast building it back up again but you know what, today is a better day. 

I managed to bath her, have a shower myself, give us all breakfast, put some crap away, tell off my MIL, visits the OB and I’m about to hit the grocery store. Not bad at all. Progress is what is is. 

Here’s brave little poppet on the mend in hospital with that nasty cannula in her hand (had to leave the room sobbing when they put that in). 

And I guess the whole post wasn’t braggy, just that beginning bit. I still have a flabby round tummy by the way. It isn’t perfect over her AT ALL. 


My VBAC birth story

A wee note before you launch into this one:  if you are pregnant with your first child then you may not want to read this. I got my VBAC but I did not enjoy the process one iota and I am brutally honest here about how god awful I found natural childbirth. Was it worth it? Yes…but it isn’t a picnic. So proceed with caution. I don’t want to put you off but I am a bit pissed at all the “oh birth is amazing” stories I read before I had this baby. Labour is not amazing. It sucks. My baby is amazing, my body is amazing for what it can do and my support team was amazing. Labour though, it sucks balls.


There is plenty in this post that is TMI so I’m just going to put a nice big fat warning up here and be done with it. If you don’t want to hear about my vagina and baby coming out of it then perhaps this read isn’t for you. Just sayin’.


On Friday, 3 June 2016, we welcomed our daughter Holly into the world. She was 4.5kg (9lb 15oz) and a hard little sucker to push out but I did it. I can tell you right now, I would not be here telling a successful VBAC story if I hadn’t done my best in the lead up to get the right team of people around me. I wasn’t brave, I wasn’t strong and I tried to fold countless times but my team, they knew what I wanted and they had my back. Here’s how it all went down. Continue reading

She’s here!

Our little bundle has arrived safely into the world and she is PERFECT! 

I got my natural birth. Wooooo! Birth story will come at a later date. 


Holly Vivienne Joy

Born: 3 June at 6:13pm – 10 hours post having my waters broken.

She was big as we suspected – 4.5kg (9lb 15oz). 53.5cm long and head circumference of 36cm.

We are so happy and in love with her. 

Having her passed up to me as soon as she came out was one of the best moments ever. 

Damn you stupid leak – 40 weeks 2 days

Well, I’m hanging out in hospital as I type this. I have been having a few gushes the last few days and waking up with wet knickers and the like so I figured I had a bit of a hind waters leak or something. I was trying to wait until my OB appointment tomorrow morning to have it all checked out but when I was working today I noticed that I really was getting quite a few gushes when just sitting there. It was not an active day at all. Then sometimes I’d go to the loo and it would all come out pretty clear and I just know I’m not drinking enough water for that. 

SO, I called the hospital and proceeded to try and talk them out of making me come up but they wouldn’t be into that. Ha! Eric wasn’t working so we decided to head up together and packed the car with all the baby/hospital stuff just in case. On the way out I remarked to Eric that this one time when I felt like I was being a bit OTT by going up they would tell me that no actually, I had to stay. And what do you know, I was right. My OB is making me stay. 

When he first said I’d have to stay tonight my response was “What? Here?” Apparently there was a lot of contraction activity on the machine and having had a previous c-section they didn’t want to let me go home. *sigh* 

He did a cervix check and I am now really thin so yay for my body doing some work over the past week. Still that easy 2 cams but fully effaced is good. THEN he tried to tell me he wanted to break my waters in the morning if things didn’t kick off overnight to which I screwed up my face. I reeeeeeeally want things to kick off as intervention free as possible. He said if I showed no signs of infection and all was looking ok then he could wait until Friday morning but that’s it. So it looks like sometime in the new few days I will have this baby one way or another. 

Baby’s trace on the ctg looks perfect apparently so that is awesome. Hoping with everything I have that things kick off strong all by themselves. It is my best chance of a natural intervention free labour and vaginal birth. 

I do feel a bit worried that this seems to be starting off quite similar to the last time which didn’t end well. It has that element of déjà vu about it but I just need to remind myself that things are actually different this time. I’m already effaced and dialating and I have a great care provider and I’m in a great hospital. My midwife has instructed me to lay back and imagine my cervix opening so going to get onto that. 

Can’t believe how close we are!!!