Tummy Trouble in Baby Paradise – Part 2

You guys, we have turned a corner. I am beside myself with happiness with BeeGee’s progress lately.

  • We have YELLOW poop. No more green yukky stuff. It is still mucus-y which I guess is still something about her tummy but I will take mucus-y yellow over green any day. I am happy to call this baseline poo.

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Tummy Troubles in Baby Paradise – Part 1

I had this whole big long post all written out about our tummy troubles but then I decided  it was too long and too boring and probably more specific than any of you needed to know. If someone pops by because of a google search about their baby and allergens and green mucousy poo and wants more info then please leave a comment and I’ll answer any questions you have. Today we are going to try for the streamlined version.

But before that I’m going to spam you with this photo of my babies. ♥♥

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Isn’t it just the best? This photo of them laughing together makes my heart want to explode with happiness. Continue reading

Well that didn’t take long

So here’s the scoop peeps…

I want another baby. 

Isn’t that just flipping out of this world crazy? And I don’t mean I want to trade in the Hollster and get another one. I mean I want an additional one. As in a THIRD child.

What the actual fuck? 

I don’t even understand it to be honest. One minute I’m moaning about the pain in my vagina and declaring no human will ever exit my loins ever again and the next I feel deep in my bones that I want to have one more baby at some point. I just feel like there is another soul out there for us, apparently.

This baby, you know the one I had only 8 weeks ago, is actually doing really great at the moment so I think that is part of it. After my last post she kind of self corrected those night sleeps so I think it must have been the 6 week growth spurt. And bless her heart she is getting better and better at being put down and sleeping on her own. She still catnaps in the day the little upstart but I really feel like things are improving. And even without all the sleeps I would like she is sooooooo happy. I think that’s what is going on. She is melting my heart with her happiness and giggles. I mean, seriously, CHECK HER OUT:


So at 8 weeks young we are pretty much on 4 feeds a day (3-4 hourly feed cycle)  and 2 overnight (1130ish and 330ish). She is a pretty efficient little feeder so her feeds don’t last all that long so it doesn’t seem too taxing at all. 

Of course it is not always like this. We have only been on this cycle this past almost week which is ages in baby land but not really that longand sometimes I do top her feeds up during the day. I just follow her cues and do what I think she needs. Sometimes I fuck it up, sometimes I get it right and the longer we go on our little journey together the better I feel I am getting at reading her. Now I have said that though she will go down a totally different path just to screw with me as that’s what babies seem to do!

Anyway I am not planning on doing the baby thing in the immediate future. In fact I am turning Eric down more often than not as I am scared of some weird voodoo where all of a sudden I fall pregnant at the drop of a hat (and before even getting my period back because IT HAPPENS people) despite it taking us all most 3 years to get BeeGee (Holly’s new blog name from this point btw). 

I have no intention of going down the full on secondary infertility path again. When the time comes we will go back and have the endo operation again to clear me out but that is all we will do. No more IVF. Just go old fashioned sex. I will most certainly be 40 or even 41 at that point so things just may not happen based on age alone and I’m ok with that. But we will have a little crack at it nonetheless. 
Well maybe. I’m hating on Eric a bit at the moment so I may have chucked his entire worldly possessions on the lawn by then and told him to get lost. Might be a bit hard to have the third baby without him as buggered if I’m starting over all that biz with someone new. Far too complicated. 

Meanwhile I am going to try and find me some reasonable birth control that doesn’t make me craaaaaay-zeeeee. Can’t believe after all we have been through I am thinking about freaking birth control. Just seems wrong. But I’m not sure my mental health would survive a baby in 9 months time. TOO SOON. 

So there you have it, the baby scoop. 

It is official: I am a flipping nutter. 

Planning and decision making

We finally went for our cycle review appointment with Dr D this week. The delay was all me. I just hadn’t bothered making the appointment as I knew we couldn’t start again until January and I was pretty sure they couldn’t really tell us why it didn’t work well for us last time.

The long and short of it was that the most of the spermies didn’t want to dance with the eggies but it was weird because some did dance but only a few. The whole thing is a bit baffling apparently. Dr D said it is more likely for them to see zero fertilisation Continue reading

9dpo – and my fingernails are growing

This cycle we tried naturally while I had my MRI and decided what to do moving forward. I have had pretty much radio silence from the old uterus this past week so I don’t have high hopes for this natural cycle. However…my fingernails are growing and that is the one thing that tipped me off when I was pregnant with my little dude almost 4 years ago.

Of course I am on am mega healthy diet at the moment so it could be nothing more than that but it is nice to have some degree of hope. Also, I had the loss last month and there is that old wives tale going around that you are infinitely more fertile the month following a loss so who knows, maybe the wives were right?

I’m not temping or tracking or doing any of those things. My appointment with the specialist to sort out the protocol for IVF is this afternoon so really looking forward to that. I’m so ready!! Might test in the next couple of days but might not. Depends on how the body feels.

Hope all is well in your world peeps. You guys rock the casbah!

~Ems~

Not this time…AGAIN

So this pregnancy has gone the way of the last…in that it didn’t stick.

I knew it was all heading south when, this morning, I started spotting. My immediate reaction was anger. I was so mad at my body and the situation. We have been trying so hard and doing everything right and I had been so good about not testing again and waiting for the bloods. This falling and then nothing just feels so cruel. Especially the second time in a row.

I went off and had my blood test anyway and the results confirmed what I felt was already taking place – my hCG had dropped to only 12.

The nurse at the clinic was lovely and talked through lots of stuff with me. She agrees with my approach for what’s next and that is to have the MRI and see if this patch of whatever it is, is whatever the Dr thinks it is. If so, it could be affecting the implantation and I really don’t see why we should throw money at more procedures if we are just going to keep getting this same result. We need to further refine things; investigate and then treat accordingly. She has also suggested considering genetic testing.

So that’s about it from me. I’m OK. I did just go and get my son out of his bed though and put him in mine. I feel I need him close tonight.

~Ems~

Blood test results

I got lucky (a sign?) and got my blood test results back this afternoon rather than having to wait until tomorrow morning. Yay!

So, technically I’m preggers however my HCG is only at 21 which is pretty damn low. The nurse wasn’t overly excited when she spoke to me, more cautious. She says I need to have another test on Friday to see if it has gone up enough.

Obviously I have googled the shit out of it and have found people with low HCG at the same stage who have gone on to have successful pregnancies, I’ve also found people who have gone on to have losses. I found a chart that said for 14 days post ovulation (I’m probably 15) the HCG should be somewhere between 5-50 with the average being 21. That made me feel better.

From here, it’s just wait and see I guess. And hope for the best. I had a bit of a time out from work today when all this happened so I could relax and chill and after that I felt a lot better and more positive. I ‘ve honestly felt really great this whole cycle and there’s no need for that to change now.

~Ems~