Well this week, as the title of this post says, was just one of those weeks. It’s not like anything particularly bad happened, just some annoying things. Still, by the end of it I am in a good mood so it can’t be all bad.
The shittiness started last Friday when I had to have a conversation with my Mum about who is welcome to stay when the baby arrives. I thought we’d already had this conversation. It went something like:
Me: Hey you realise that when the baby arrives that it is just you that we want staying for the full week. R (my step dad) can pop up and visit and say hi but I really need for it to just be you who stays.
(It was her idea to come and stay for a week so she can help out. She offered and I said yes as my mum is pretty much the only person I want help from in those early days).
Mumsy: Oh yes, that’s fine. He probably couldn’t get the time off work anyway.
So I thought she got it. I thought we were covered.
Then in a recent phone call she mentioned to Monkey that her and Poppy would be driving up when the baby is born (it is about an 8-9 hour drive). My immediate thought was uh-oh, that usually means holiday. Has she forgotten about our chat re who stays when the baby is born? Surely not.
About a week later we got a parcel in the mail for Monkey and in it there was a note. The note mentioned how when they visit after the baby arrives that Monkey can watch this movie with Poppy while Oomah helps mummy with the baby. OK. So I figured at that point we needed to have another conversation.
<insert expletives here>
So we had that convo last Friday night. I wasn’t going to bring it up right away but it kind of came up organically so I just went with it. What I had guessed was right, they were now both planning to come and stay for a week or so. My mother claims she had forgotten what was previously discussed even though I know it was discussed around the context of other people wanting to stay here and me dealing with that so I don’t really believe her. I was making a big deal about it. So if she didn’t forget then she was simply trying to manipulate the situation (I want to say “me” but I’m trying not to be personal about it) to get what she wants.
I was furious. I mean, fucking SERIOUSLY.
I can’t see how either way she comes out looking good. She either didn’t listen which bugs the shit out of me when I’ve had a fairly extensive convo with her on the topic or she was manipulating the situation. My brother, who had issues with her around his wedding, is totally going for the manipulation angle as well. It is always around my step-father and his family that this comes up.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my step-father, but he is my mum’s husband, not some replacement for the crappy father I already have. He is a lovely guy and he makes my mum very happy but my mum moves heaven and earth to try and make sure he is included in EVERYTHING, almost to the exclusion of the wants and needs of her kids. I guess this is one of the issues you have with blended families. And really, I am OK with that because he is the one keeping her company as she gets older. But I am pissed at not being heard by my mum.
He is also one of those old school guys who pretty much can’t do anything for himself. I’m not even sure if he still knows how to use the washing machine and he doesn’t cook. So if he was here my mum’s focus would be totally split. She would feel the need to entertain and look after him at a time when I need her to be focused on me and my kids. In the end I told her that if she really wanted him to be here for entire week then that is totally fine but they’d need to stay at alternative accommodation and visit and help during the day.
The thing that pissed me off the most about the whole thing is that after we had the conversation she then sent me a text message to tell me she had “one very sad Poppy on her hands”. I mean, what the actual fuck? She wants to guilt trip me now? I was super annoyed about that text because I just felt like no-one was taking a moment to consider my needs and I am the one having the baby.
But anyway, that was now one week ago. I am clearly annoyed if I am talking about it but mostly I’ve just brushed it aside. Apparently Poppy doesn’t feel so sad now as he realises that his sister and her hubby are only visiting their daughter for the first day together when her baby comes and then the hubby (who is actually the daughter’s dad) will be returning home while mum stays on to help.
Honestly. People are killing me. I’m ok to fight for what I want but it blows that I have to. It makes me sad and exhausted as I feel I spend a lot of time considering how my actions and decisions will impact other people but no-one seems to want to return the favour. Anyway, enough poor me.
So that set the week up to a good start.
I have also spent the entire last 10 days fighting some bug that seems to want to come on but never quite gets there. So I have one day where I have this massively scratchy throat and body aches and feel like shite and then the next day I’ll bounce back and feel like I’ve fought the bug off and all is good with the world. Then the next day I’ll crash again. It is tiring for one, annoying for another and just a bit crap as how I feel on any given day is totally unpredictable. The acupuncturist did some work trying to sort this out at my session yesterday so I’m hoping that will do the trick.
On the up side I had a good visit with the OB on Monday. Everything looks great with baby, she isn’t so low anymore and not at all engaged, still head down and still flipping MASSIVE (now measuring 2.6kg with 8 weeks to go). These scans can often be really out so I truly hope that is the case for me otherwise she is going to be a whopper and I am determined to birth naturally. I actually feel less scared about birthing a 9+ pound baby than the prospect of another c-section so I think I have some work to do there with those fears as I have to accept at some point that that may be my reality regardless of how active my birth is.
I also started to see an Osteopath this week (kind of like a no crack chiro but they don’t just focus on spine, they do total body and it is all gentle manipulation). I mainly wanted to make sure my pelvis was looking good for a natural birth and he seems to think that is all great. He did some work to get blood flow around my injury site and I am happy to be doing that. Apparently the location of my fracture at T12 / L1 is linked to the uterus so it needs to be functioning as well as possible to encourage a successful birth I guess.
Lastly, to polish off my week I had two parents at pre-school yesterday ask me how long I had to go and then decide to jump in with a guess before I could answer. Because that’s always a smart move. One said 4 weeks and the other suggested any day now.
I wanted to scream: People, close your mouths. Use your brains. But I didn’t. Instead I smiled sweetly and said Oh I wish. Noooo. 7 weeks to go. I’m just massive.
Then the “any day now” mum went on to compliment me on my hair. Too funny. Poor bitch. She must have been feeling shocking.
Anyway that mum stuff could really have gone in a post of its own it’s so long so sorry about that. I was trying to not rant about it and squish it into this update but, well, FAIL.
Hope your weeks were less polished turds and more sunshine and rainbow unicorns than mine.