Things are cruising – 31 weeks 1 day

2016-03-20 16.03.26

29+6 Β – baby shower day!

We are motoring along pretty well here this week. I remain obsessed with how big I am getting (errrr look 35 weeks in my opinion) but other than that, not doing too badly.

I had a really awesome baby shower on the Sunday before Easter weekend. I shared it with another mum from my mother’s group as this is what we do traditionally and it was SO nice. It was actually really fun to share the day with someone else having the same experience as me. The venue we went to was rural so it was all green and peaceful and pretty. The foods was DIVINE. I had fish that I can still taste when I close my eyes and think of it. Amazing.

The organisation of the shower had been a small drama as I had another friend, separate to this group, who had really wanted to throw me a shower. I had told her I would likely end up doing something with A from mother’s group but she didn’t seem to want to really give in to that notion. She thought I deserved to have something on my own after everything we have been through but I honestly didn’t care. I really enjoyed sharing my day.

Anyway, this chick (we’ll call her friend 1) was coordinating with the other mums too but it all kinda fell apart in the end – or didn’t go well – as friend 1 didn’t get what she wanted. I was kind of disappointed with her behaviour and some of the messages she was sending to the other mum to be honest. Some of them were blatantly untrue in an attempt to manipulate the outcome and that made me sad. She ended it with an “Oh well I hope I can make Em’s 40th” like everyone would plan another event over the top of her that she couldn’t attend. Seriously! And the whole time I’m saying “But hey I’m ok with this outcome” and that didn’t seem to matter. Silly old me thought it was about meΒ because, you know, my baby bump and all. but it was really about her and that she wanted to execute the plan she had in her mind.

To be fair, friend 1 has had a tough 12 months and I think she was hanging on to the shower as bright light across a dim year but man, I cannot be responsible for that. I tried to coordinate another date for her and the few girls who couldn’t make the original shower but then it all got too hard and I have let it just drift away. If people want to catch up with me independently then they can but they don’t have to attend a shower.

ANYWAY the outcome was GREAT. I had such a nice day and felt very spoilt. All is good with the baby shower world.

Baby stuff

I thought I better shove in a few sub headings. This post feels like it might be all over the place.

I had my follow up OB appointment last week where we looked again at the baby and she was doing great. Looks super chubby cheeked now and is measuring a whopping 2kg. She had put on only 170g this time though which was a freaking relief. I hadn’t gained at all. (Woooo mama!) I had an internal ultrasound to check out the cervix and it was long and closed – at least 3.5cm which google tells me is good at this stage. No likelihood of spontaneous labour just yet. It turns out my hospital won’t let me deliver there if I am under 34 weeks (they don’t have the special care facilities for a baby that premmie) so I am relieved things look like they are going to be steady and strong in that camp. They told me to just take it a bit easier to reduce the pains I’ve been getting so we’ve done that and things are good.

Easter

2016-03-27 07.36.30Eric went away on his “I can’t believe I’m going to have a second kid and now I really have no life of my own left” boys weekend at Easter. I WAS NOT happy about it, let me tell you because times like Easter and Christmas are family time for me but Eric grew up as an only child and they just didn’t do family the way we do so he doesn’t get it. I informed him this is the last family holiday time he will be scooting off somewhere, from here on in we are there as a family to wake up with the Santa presents and the Easter Bunny visits yada yada. I took videos of Monkey doing his Easter Egg hunt and he totally got what I was talking about once he watched them.

Eric’s mum, who was not away at all for Easter, didn’t even try to catch up with us and see Monkey or give him eggs or anything so I think it is pretty clear this just isn’t a family time for her and that is what she has taught Eric. Makes me a bit sad for Eric really.

Of course while I was solo parenting away all Easter weekend I had Monkey break out in a

2016-03-26 18.12.35

My little fisherman

massive rash and I had an ingrown hair grow from a small dot to the size of a flipping fat almond. These things always happen right when you don’t feel there is the time or energy for them. So off to the Dr we had to go in the middle of the holiday weekend. Argh. Luckily all was fine in that neither of us were going to die tragic deaths from our diseases, nor would we kill others, so we ended up going fishing for the first time on the Saturday afternoon with our neighbours and it was SO. MUCH. FUN.

These people know how to fish. All the kids caught fish – Monkey got 3! I sat back and watched the fun but it really was a super enjoyable afternoon.

Dad Update

Thanks to everyone for the lovely comments on my dad post. He is now back in Australia and responding well to treatment and will probably have surgery on his spine this Friday. I chatted to him yesterday and it seemed to me he was angling to stay with me in his recovery phase. Yeah, that is not going to happen. I just dodged the whole thing for now and it stresses me a bit that I might have to actually say no down the track but I really don’t have the time to stress about it now. Now is all about baby prep and i have to keep myself sane to get to that.

Anxiety

I still have a bit of anxiety around but things are definitely improved. Now it seems to have settled on wondering whether or not a natural birth with a 3rd degree tear yada yada would actually be more traumatic than another c-section under a general. I’ve started to make a “birth board” to help with this. In the centre is this quote and I stare at it every day.Β birth inspoI just have to believe in this and in myself. I am worried baby isn’t in the most ideal position so when I have my next OB appointment I might quiz him a bit on that. I have my next doula appt this Friday so I will talk some more with her about this too. I’m sure she will have some great ideas to calm my fears and nerves.

I am also thinking of going to an Osteo to get some work done on my pelvis so it is in the best position possible for the birth. This might also help bub settle into the the best birthing position too. Anything to make it all go the way it is meant to go.

Everything else

There really isn’t that much else except to say we had the most amazing day here today; 1 month into Autumn and it felt like summer.I even got a bit sunburnt at the creek! Check it out.

 

I also took you guys a bunch of bump shots this morning because I love you all and I know you like to see them.

 

Sayonara you sexy things! Til next time. x

 

 

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54 thoughts on “Things are cruising – 31 weeks 1 day

  1. That bump is looking good, lady!
    Glad you had a good shower, and the friend 1 thing didn’t derail your day.
    Also good news that your dad is responding to treatment, but yeah a newborn and a recovering alcoholic under the same roof does not sound like a bunch of fun. Hopefully he finds another place to stay at which gives you space and the assistance he needs.
    Good luck with the upcoming ob and doula appointments, they will also be doing everything to work you towards a complication-free birth, sounds like you’re in good hands.

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    • Exactly. Got to put my faith in the A team! (that is what I call the OB and doula lol).

      Yeah and Dad here would be stressful. He is very hard to live with and I am not exposing my kids to living with that walking on eggshell feeling. Hopefully I can just make sure he is steered towards a rehab facility of some sort. It is going to have to do!

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  2. First off…you’re looking so fab!
    Is Osteo the same thing as chiropractor? I saw one regularly near the end of my pregnancy and she helped me so much. I highly recommend it!
    I always think that a natural birth heals easier ans faster than surgical, despite the tearing. I tore quite a bit with my first and was up lugging baby around all over the city the next day. With my second, baby was bigger and I barely tore, probably because he was strong enough to do most of the work on the way out.
    Food for thought! Hang in there, 10 weeks to go!

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    • Osteopath is similar to Chiro. Basically Osteo does gentle manipulation- no cracking. But many principles are the same from what I can gather. Funny you say that about the bigger delivery being easier. My friend said the exact same thing. I think her second baby was almost 2 pounds heavier than the first and she said it felt like the bigger baby was stronger for the delivery process. I like this thought πŸ™‚ Thx for sharing it!

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  3. Sounds like the good was continually pushing out the bad! Yay! Children are infectious on holidays (and every day); I love THAT! But on you!!!! Wow, hot mama! And look at your hair! It should be in a commercial it’s so thick and shiny. You look good. I hope you just keep feeling “gooder and gooder.” I’m glad your dad feels drawn to you to want to stay with you. That’s nice for him to have. Not nice to live with, but nice to know you provide that sense. I’ll have to read the other post. We are back from a very long (wonderful) vacation. Have a GREAT day and week! Terri

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    • Hope you had a wonderful vacation. Sadly (which you will understand now that you have read my past posts) my dad wanting to live with me is probably more to do with lack of choices due to burning of bridges in his life to date and also I’m the only child in the same country as him that is an adult (I have an 8 year old half brother). Man that dude has done a number on his life! So living with me isn’t an option but if he wants to be local in a rehab facility I will be there for him with that.

      And yes, the good did push out the bad over the weekend. Yay! Kids at holiday time truly are great to have around. It makes it so much fun. xx

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  4. You are huge! It is awesome! That little baby is growing so fast! You look amazing, too, I’m quite jealous! By that stage I had started swelling and was puffy all over! I’m glad that Eric can see and understands the family changes, when you don’t grow up with it, it can be an adjustment, but I think that he gets it, and who knows, it might even change his mom’s outlook (I’m not holding my breath!) Good on you for having the baby shower you wanted! Maybe you can have a small lunch with friend 1 and give her some special attention, but you are right, it’s not your responsibility!! I was so happy to read that part!! πŸ™‚
    Man, things are moving along, and you’ve been told to take it easier, and you have your appointments all lined up… This is REALLY happening!!! WhoooHooo!!

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    • Yes I have suggested to friend 1 that we have lunch. I do feel bad as she wanted to throw the shower so badly but it is what it is. Being neurotic about it won’t change it! lol And yes, we are getting so close to the end now!! Crazy! And exciting! hehe

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  5. So much here I don’t even know where to begin. I suppose I’ll start with that you and your bump look great! I’m glad you put your foot down with Eric and holidays. I think it’s also good that you see his mom’s behavior and know he was raised like that. It’s also good that he came to the same realization after seeing the pictures of Monkey and the the Easter egg hunting. That drama with the shower is so ridiculous! My lordy. I love how your friend is somehow making it all about her. People, JEEZ. Anyway, glad to hear all is well with baby! Xoxo.

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    • Haha it was a bit of a full post. Yeah that baby shower stuff was all really WHAT?! And to be honest quite unexpected. It is funny how certain things can happen that seem like they will be straightforward and all of a sudden it is showing you a whole new side of someone in your life. Ah well. It is what it is (seems to be my fav saying at the moment! I am getting a lot of these lessons lol xoxo

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  6. Aww you look so glam. I know I’d be the opposite if I ever got preggers and would be one of those blimps!

    Glad your dad is going better. It sounds really tough but you’ve done all you can.

    Monkey is SO cute! (This comes from a very selective kid fan!) I’m glad you got to spend a lovely Easter together (fishing! How seasonally appropriate!) and it’s great that you managed to speak with Eric and explain your feelings. I think we are all a product of our childhoods (my mum was also “holidays are mandatory family time”) so I think I get how you feel. It’s great that you have stood your ground and are building some family traditions of your own. X

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    • haha I always thought I’d be a real blimp as I’m short (160cm) and hippy but actually I have been quite the all baby bump for both my lasting pregnancies. It has been a nice surprise. So you never know what you might be like! And yes it is funny but now that I have number 2 on the way I am thinking so much more about what sort of family traditions I want for our crew. I didn’t think as much about it with only 1 child so I can see where Eric’s mum might not have focused on it so much as he is an only child.

      Anyway I can’t wait until you are in a place where you get to see a bump grow. I am hopeful for you this cycle. x

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  7. You look fantastic!!! Seriously, amazing! And the Easter fishing looks like soo much fun too!
    I’m glad you dad is responding well to treatment, but I fully support you not letting him stay with your during his recovery. With monkey and a baby on the way, I totally get your desire to limit the drama and stress in your life right now.
    As for the shower, I’m glad you were happy with it, even if your friend wasn’t thrilled. Because you are right, the day is all about you and your little one!

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  8. Women are annoying sometimes – I swear that’s the #1 reason I was convinced I was more straight than not – less drama (but we all know it DOESN’T mean less BS!) lol. I am kinda glad I never was thrown a baby shower for either of mine, mainly for that reason. That being said, you’re excluded from that annoying camp. πŸ˜‰ I’m glad things are improving with dad, and I really hope he gets it and saves you the awkward “no”. You don’t need that guilt or stress right now. Is Eric willing to start creating some traditions with you, now that baby #2 is on the way? Maybe you can both discuss which times of year are most important to each of you, and if he has none then maybe he can open to idea of some for the benefit of the kids, if not for his own immediately obvious benefit. I know for us, with one, we hadn’t really given it much thought. We try to do fun, special things often, rather than being caught up in the commercial traditions – but we’ve seen how much M enjoys the hype around them so we indulge for her sake. In the end, it reminds us the little things are pretty big in a kid’s eyes. You look amazing, sweetie!! Thank you for the belly pics! I love them! And great cervical length. You should be fine for at least another handful of weeks. Xx πŸ™‚

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    • Oh my gosh, women can be SO annoying! lol I actually planned my own shower with Monkey for this exact sort of reason. And I wouldn’t have had a shower for no 2 except we tried so hard for so long so it felt right to celebrate it. Plus the mum’s group always did a little one for subsequent babies hence continuing with that tradition.

      I hadn’t thought so much about traditions with baby no 1 either. It seems like something to really consider with another kid coming along though. Interesting that it takes 2 kids to bring it to the forefront. I will take your suggestion and ask Eric about what he sees as important times for the family. Who knows, maybe he will have one that I don’t know about. I suspect though that he simply doesn’t as he was an only child and his mum doesn’t make a fuss over Xmas and birthdays etc. I find it really weird to be honest but each to their own. xx

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      • Yeah, the tradition thing as a couple we really didn’t do much unless we planned to host. If we hosted, more often than not it was for friends so we didn’t decorate really. The focus was food & booze! We only started decorating with M for her 2nd xmas, when she was old enough to get excited about the sparkles, music and colours. Now there’s no turning back. She loves commercial holiday decorating and the fun, themed arts & crafts we do.

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  9. I’m sorry your friend gave you a hard time about the shower, but glad it all turned out well in the end. The important thing is that you were happy…everyone else can just deal!! Your bump is adorable, and you look amazing! So glad things are continuing to go well for you. Not too long to go now!
    PS~I was just thinking about you this afternoon!! Remember when I said to you that you were already 1/4 way to the end? I just was thinking that now I’m almost 1/4 way to the end myself! Crazy!

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    • Thx hon. I feel pretty good too if you don’t count the cold I think I’m getting. Boo. And yay, you ARE almost a 1/4 of the way. I so do remember you saying that to me all those months ago. So bizarre that it is coming around for you already. Seems quick (from where I’m sitting, I’m sure it is dragging a little more for you). Exciting! xx

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      • Everything is going well! We’ve been going for walks for over a week now, and each day it’s a lot easier! Emery is doing well too, getting fat haha. Seems like we’re slowly getting the hang of feeding and sleeping too. There’s pee and milk all over our house though haha.

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        • Oh man it is crazy how much mess a newborn makes. We rented an apartment for the first 6 mths Monkey was born and I honestly felt like it was worse than any place I’d ever lived in because of all the newborn spray. We had a couple of instances of projectile bright yellow poo on white blinds and cream carpet. Man oh man. Glad you are recovering well and settling in nicely. That is awesome πŸ™‚ X

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  10. So glad to hear everything is going so great for your pregnancy. I’m glad you helped Eric see what Easter holiday means for you and your family, and hopefully he’ll be eager to participate going forward. And you do look great! Your bump is so cute! I know at the time, I never felt like pregnancy was a flattering time for me. In hind sight, when you’re “all belly” (which you are), it’s totally adorable, at least for everyone else.

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    • Thanks! That dress actually isn’t a maternity one, it is just stretchy and still works while preggers lol ASOS has a huge maternity range. It takes awhile to scroll through everything and I did return some stuff but I did also get a decent selection from there. Then I used online boutiques (local to Australia) for the rest of my stuff. I bought quite a bit this time compared to last time but I am glad I did as I’ve enjoyed feeling good in my clothes and having nice things to wear as I get bigger and bigger πŸ™‚

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  11. Awesome bump pics. You look fantastic! I am loving your pregnancy outfits, you look so good.
    It looks as though you had a fabulous Easter weekend which is great and I was very happy to hear that all the pregnancy news is good news πŸ™‚
    The time seems to have gone very quickly for me (I’m sure this is not the case for you), it seems like just a few weeks ago That we were talking about moving into your second trimester.

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  12. Eeee!! Look at you!!! You are looking so happy and beautiful. I can’t quite believe how little time you have left before baby girl arrives. You’re exactly right – you’re not responsible for your friend’s feelings and I think you’ve handled it brilliantly by just letting it go. Getting close now Em – thinking of you and hoping for a smooth and straightforward birth xxxxx

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  13. I’m glad your baby shower went well and good for you for just letting friend’s showers slide and not stressing it.

    It great your dad’s recovering and it’s good you recognized your limits and don’t plan to host him. A new baby and a recovering alcoholic are a recipe for disaster. You need to rest up after birth!

    Monkey is adorable! He has a bit of Eric in him.

    Eric sounds like a good dad. You need to teach him some things but once you do he seems to get it.

    You look great. I’m sure you V-Bac will go well. Hope the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly!

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    • Eric is super open to learning and evolving all the time when it comes to parenting and it is truly one of the things I do like about him. We are both always trying to do better and that is nice. Monkey def does have a bit of Eric in him for sure. πŸ™‚ Hope you are well!

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  14. I love the smiling photo of you and monkey πŸ˜‰ great that you have a birth board going, and you can totally do a VBAC if that’s what you want, belief in your body! Are you doing any meditation or natal hypnotherapy type things, those might help with the PMA….

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    • I do try to do them in my anxious days but I need to get into the habit of doing some daily. I thought I’d be there by now with it but tmI seem to be so behind with everything else eeeeep. Oh well. I will get there. πŸ™‚

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      • I know it is hard to do daily.. I once managed 30 days in a row but then it all went wrong! I think if you manage maybe 3-4 times in a week that is pretty good! I don’t even do that now but I should try. I know time for it can be hard. When I went on maternity leave it was easier to do more, but then I didn’t have a kid around like you do!

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