Well, the anxiety has been creeping back in this last week or so. It is like ever since I hit the third trimester my brain has been looking for things to hook onto that will freak me out about the wellbeing of the baby. Now that we are getting close to delivery it is like I am becoming more stressed about the possible outcomes that could take our dream of a healthy baby away from us.
Last Monday, the first thing I settled on was the whole worming tablet thing. Remember my pre-schooler gave us all worms early in the pregnancy? Well we had a recurrence in late Jan early Feb so all in all I took 5 x 100mg worming tablets with mebendazole as the active ingredient across the two incidents. Well something made me google it last Monday and it turns out that Combantrim comes in two forms – one has mebendazole as the active ingredient, the other Pyrantel. Pyrantel is the safe one. FUCK. I wigged out about this BIG TIME.
I had acted on advice from my GP who had consulted her trusty big book of stuff but all she had said to me was “Combrantrim is category B1 and should be fine”. She didn’t say ONLY GET THE ONE WITH PYRANTEL. Grrrrr. I googled more and found a bunch of studies discussing 500mg doses of mebendazole given to women in the second trimester in third world countries as parasites are so bad over there and none of them showed a significant increase in congenital abnormalities so that was reassuring. One was even a double blind study. The consensus seems to be that no pregnant woman should get that shit in the first trimester and while I didn’t take it until I was 15 weeks that does concern me. Like, if it’s that bad early on is there still an element of risk?
On the Thursday that week I had an appt to get my Whooping Cough Vax (standard 3rd trimester treatment here for women now regardless of how close together your pregnancies are) so I decided to speak to the GP about it then and see what she had to say. Well, she did not know about the two different types of Combantrim *sigh* However she felt comfortable with the fact that I’d taken it in the 2nd trimester and I’ve since asked my OB and he isn’t worried either. But STILL. I mean FUCK. It’s not my job to research this stuff. I am expecting the trained Dr that I consult to have the information for me that is reliable. Anyway, I could tell she felt like shit about it and she won’t forget this lesson anytime soon so that’s the silver lining on this one.
I noticed that day as I was walking up the surgery stairs that baby was waaaaay low. She felt really low for this point of the pregnancy. Low as in I was struggling to lift my leg to the next step because the baby’s freaking head was in the way. At this point it was still 3 weeks until my next OB appointment but I just filed it away as something to think about.
Worming issue shelved and slight wigging out about my vax and my brain moved onto something else. On Friday I decided to be concerned about the fact that for a few days my urine had seemed cloudy in colour and slightly strong smelling despite my best efforts to drink a decent amount of water. I emailed the OB and his office called me back and asked me to go to the GP for testing and to get the results cc’d to him. I did that and the preliminary test at the GP looked fine. He sent it to the lab anyway but wasn’t expecting anything more. Just told me my wee was a little dark in colour still so even more water please. All good.
Baby still felt low and I was off colour in a way I couldn’t really put my finger on but got motoring on. That weekend we had to continue with clearing out the common areas of the house for the painter to come this week so it was pretty full on with activity. I didn’t do too badly but just slightly off the whole time.
This week we stayed in a lovely local resort hotel (oooohhhh la la) while the painter was in which was pretty spesh. Buffet breakfast each day and a lovely resort pool. Monkey was in heaven. It would have been amazing except I slept like shit in that freaking bed the entire three nights we were there. So that didn’t go well for my “I’m just feeling a bit off” feeling. Plus since Sunday baby’s movements had seemed real sluggish. Previously she’d been rather vigorous but now while I could feel her move it seemed to be less and so much slower.
Yesterday I decided that I should just suck it up and go the OB early if I was worried. That’s why I have an OB so I can go any time I freaking want and he has always said I should come in sooner than my arranged appointment if I’m at all concerned. And I just thought what if I leave it and then go in two weeks time and find out something is wrong and I could have prevented it? I’d feel so stupid and annoyed with myself. So I went this morning.
I was fine with the midwife but as soon as I got in with the OB and he made a little “you don’t look your usual self” comment I burst into tears. I have definitely been a bit more emotional and hormonal lately. I mentioned how low baby felt and how off I had been feeling and he had a feel of my tummy as I laid back on the bed and agreed that she did seem to be quite low. He started the scan right after and right after he had the initial look he told me he wanted me back there again in a week (standard visits right now are fortnightly so this is sooner than usual). He went on to do a really thorough scan and said it all look fine but that she is very low (oh but placenta is now raised – YAY). When I go back next week he is going to do an internal scan to measure my cervix and see what is happening there. If anything weird happens, even of the weekend, I am to go back in but otherwise we are good for now.
I joked that I had been telling Eric that I think the baby is going to come early and he looked right at me and said “I think she is going to come early too”. So it is good to know that while I am anxious and paranoid I’m not a total fruit loop and my instinct about things feeling off may be a little bit right.
Baby is growing like the freaking clappers. She put on 700g in the last two weeks (previous two visits she has put on 600g in 4 weeks so this is a big jump). She is measuring way ahead and I look massive. Eric and I just went back to look at my bump pics from my pregnancy with Monkey and I pretty much look like the 35 week pic. Excellent.
So that’s the last week and a half in a nutshell. I’m anxious. I need to go back and see the head doctor to help out there. Baby has her little head lodged down near my pubic bone. The house still isn’t ready but is closer. I’m tired and slightly off colour. Don’t have a cot yet and feel like my baby is going to come early.
Deep breath out.