To be honest I find most of pregnancy a freaking danger zone. Even with my first child who was easy to conceive and a relatively easy pregnancy I was nervous. I didn’t really stop sweating until about 32 weeks.
But this week feels like a highlighted part of the danger zone, like the part of the highway that hasn’t been upgraded and has none of those bumpy light things on the road to keep you safe, because this is the week I had the miscarriage in August. By my calculations the spotting started about 6 weeks 2 days and the miscarriage itself started pouring out of my at 6 weeks 5 days so you can see why I might be feeling a tad apprehensive.
There are no more betas in my future. After my last result the Dr was so pleased with the progress that they said no more betas and booked my scan for 14 October (10 days from today). I think they only reason they would do one would be if I had some spotting and called in a panic. I’m actually OK with that. I thought I wouldn’t be but not having the beta has actually given me a sense of calm believe it or not. Rather than focusing on this beta day in the immediate future I have the scan to focus on which is further away and I don’t know, it just made me feel calm. I think this is more my pregnancy hormones than anything else. Seriously, they are fucking with my ability to react.
I turned in front of oncoming traffic the other day when I thought they had a red light (aahhh they didn’t) and my heart didn’t even race. Speaking of dick moves in the car I also parked IN FRONT OF A DOUBLE DRIVEWAY and forgot to lock my car when we went to a local fair yesterday. I didn’t realise until we came out to go home and saw my interior light on in my car. I think that might have been done by the people who lived in the house because I didn’t have those lights on. Fair enough. I’d have been pissed too. It could have been worse, they could have put a brown snake in my car (which I did actually worry about but who does that? It’s all snakes for my brain at the moment. I do a house scan every time we enter after being out for awhile).
So yeah, I’m a liability in the car but otherwise OK. My tummy has popped out. I’ll have to start taking pics. It’s unbelievable how much the second pregnancy just pops right out. That poor uterus has no muscular definition left after a first pregnancy stretch. One thing I’ve noticed with both these recent pregnancies is little to no cramping. I had so much of it for the first pregnancy because the uterus was all tight and untouched. This time, I can barely feel the stretch. I have the odd twinge but nothing major.
This past week from the beta on Monday until the 6 week point today has gone quite quickly but I think that’s about to change. I can really see this week of the danger zone being more like a short sloooooooow stroll through the deep dark misty woods. All I want is to make it to the other side without being attacked by the bear.