This week has been a rocky one, full ups and downs, peaks and troughs, hills and valleys.
MONDAY: Beta 2 comes in at a lovely 140. Hooray! I am 4 weeks 2 days pregnant and I have a nice strong number. High fives and fist bumps all round.
TUESDAY: Nice busy day chasing Monkey around but the calculations in my mind commence. So if Saturday was 14 dpo that means I’m now 17dpo or, 4 weeks and 1, 2, 3; 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant. So 6 more days to my beta, 4 more days until 5 weeks.
WEDNESDAY: Remained reasonably sane as worked in the morning and had acupuncture in the afternoon. Despite being awake 3 times the previous night (midnight, 2am and 4:30am) I don’t doze on the bed which I find weird. I was all bounce bounce bounce. NOT a good sign. This is my anxiety rising.
Almost kept child home from daycare (complaining of sore ears) but in the end he went and came home sick. I’m winning at parenting. Scoot off to the Dr to discover the poor child has a temperature and a bilateral middle ear infection. He is now on his first course of antibiotics EVER and I feel like bitch face mum for not noticing this were so bad.
Ditch CoQ10 today which seems unimportant but later on the week I will start to wonder. Anyone who takes it know about taking it during pregnancy? Of course I will consult my Dr, just looking for feedback.
THURSDAY: Monkey home sick today but he seems OK. We go down to visit Eric for lunch and a play in the sun. Fun times and it all goes well except my anxiety starts to set in when we return home. My trigger is always shallow breathing, like I’m about to hyperventilate into a panic attack any second. Haven’t had it like this in quite awhile.
Boobs start to hurt like a mofo. Like I’m almost groaning the pain is so intense. I love it as it means hormones and hormones mean (hopefully) growing baby. Gimme more of this.
FRIDAY: anxiety. anxietY. anxieTY. anxiETY. anxIETY. anXIETY. aNXIETY. ANXIETY. Dreadful day for it. Feel on the verge of a panic attack which is pretty bad for me. Haven’t felt this in a long time. Start to wonder if ditching the CoQ10 has had an effect? Do some research and it does seem to be noted for its assistance with anxiety and depression. I have really felt balanced this year, especially since returning from Canada when vigilant with the meds. Imagine if it’s this? I always just thought it was the zinc because I started it around the same time but I’m still taking the zinc and today felt I was going to EXPLODE.
Must email doctor.
SATURDAY: Caaaaaaaaaaalm. Thank god for sleep is all I can say. It flicks my reset switch and no matter how anxious I am I always wake calm. I’m grateful for that as I know it’s that not that way for everyone.
My anxiety hasn’t crept up on me today but I took a CoQ10 yesterday and today after I figured out it was the thing I had eliminated. I wonder if I’m right? Emailing doctor now to find out if it is OK to take.
Oh oh oh 5 weeks today! We flicked to the next week. Weeeeeee. I’d be happy but my symptoms have been very low yesterday and today after the intense boobiness earlier this week so now I’m worried, of course. Never a sane moment around here.
SUNDAY: I am feeling like I am not pregnant. I slept right through last night which is unheard of for me in early pregnancy. And all my other symptoms are super mild. I’m not even sure if a strong beta tomorrow will ease my mind as it could have surged during the week and stalled today and the beta will never show that. My progesterone could be holding off any bleeding and well, I don’t sound very hopeful do I? I told Eric all this this morning and he sounded so sad and then I felt bad for spoiling his day. *sigh*
What a week. Oh what a week. I burst into tears 3 times this afternoon for no apparently reason and anxiety is moving into the red zone again.
MONDAY: Sore boobies again. A great start to beta day. Fills me with a bit more confidence for what may be possible. A very busy work day ahead so hopefully the call will seem to come quickly. We are hoping for a minimum of 1200.
******
OMG no result until tomorrow!!!! Party my fault, partly their fault. I am blaming baby brain! Basically I used an old form and I was support to cross out FSH and write BHCG and FORGOT. They told me to use the old form and do it so I am partly blaming them for not just sending me the right form but I also did just legitimately forget. IDIOT.
After all the wind up and stress of course this would happen. I had to laugh and trust me, I did…kind of manically… or I might have cried.
Good news is that based on all my other results it appears that this one will be fine. Or good. Or just as it should be. Whatever. I’ve kinda been feeling preggers today so that makes me happy.
Back tomorrow with the news. Adios amigos!
**UPDATE** – QML are now my favourite pathology group EVER. They ran the blood and got the result back in less than an hour in a half and it’s GREAT.
Beta #3 = 2000 Whoooooooot! doubling time 1.8 days or 43.79 hours. GREAT.
fingers crossed for a strong number tomorrow! xoxo
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Just got the result in and updated the post! They processed it uber quick. A nice strong 2000! Woooot!
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YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! So happy for you!!!! That’s beautiful news!! When is your first scan??
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Have to wait and see what Dr says but nurse said today probably in about 2 weeks when I will be around 7 weeks. 🙂
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Well hello baby mama!!!
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Wooooot! Starting to feel like maybe this IS IT!
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This IS it!
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Wow! congratulations 🙂 very happy for you that your blood test are looking so positive – yay for you 🙂 Hope your little man is feeling better. Take care xx
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Thanks lovely. Yes my little man seems to be all better thankfully. Poor little muppet. xx
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Lol you’ve gone batty, little Miss Prego! 😉 SO HAPPY to hear about that beta!!! How awesome!! I hope monkey is feeling better soon and that you have some mood stability coming to you. I felt very anxious in first trimester, and started my therapy sessions just so I could try to keep the anxiety at bay. I go once a month still, even though often I feel I’ve got nothing bothering me. Just the fact that I’ve got it scheduled seems to help my head stay in check. (did I mention how happy I am for you??) xx
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Oh man I am so batty. What a crazy week. I think I will look into getting back into therapy as well during this trimester. So many milestones, so much risk and esp just following the loss. It is too hard on my poor old psyche! Thanks for the joy xx
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Woohoo awesome number congrats so happy for you!!!!!! Hope the little one is feeling better! Xxxxxxxx
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Thanks lovely. And yes he is. Hope all is progressing well at your end xx
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I haven’t been on much, but I have been checking in. So thrilled for you Em, this is such great news. xx
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I have been thinking of you often lately and hope you are doing ok xxx
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YES YES YES!!! That is amazing!!! Oh Em – I was reading this post holding my breath, I swear, I thought I was going to start hyperventilating!!!! You survived the week – you did it – and you got a GREAT number. YOU ARE AMAZING!! xxxxx
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Ha yes it has definitely been a nerve wracking week!! I can’t believe I survived it without completely losing the plot. It is a great number for where I’m at and I’m so pleased. Here’s to more growing and more numbers PLEEEEEEASE universe!! xxx
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I would have been at least as anxious and probably more so! Well done and I am just SO excited about those numbers. I’ve gone on about it loads over the years but decent HCG levels are the BEST early indicator of all for a healthy pregnancy. Trying not to get overly excited as I know it’s still early, but dammit I am excited!!! xxxxx
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Hehe it is nice to have a strong indicator early. Shame there has to be other factors to complicate things and keep us cautious but yes, the signs are promising 🙂 xxx
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I am super delighted for you. Come on. Good things come in threes. Me Faye and now YOU!!! X
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Argh that would just be perfect!
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Oh my gosh, great news!! xx
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I’m so pleased. Great progress by the bean 😉
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Oh this is just awesome! So many good signs too! Come on, come ON, COME ON! So sorry about your anxiety and what those hormones do, but it’s sounding so good!
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🙂 a strong start is a good one. Trying not to get ahead of myself but very happy with these results 🙂
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I know. I know. Applying all measures of good wishes from over here.
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Wahooooooo! 20000, amazing! Pregnancy anxiety is NO JOKE, but you are doing amazing. Just take it one day at a time. I truly believe this bean is here to stay.
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I hope with all my heart you are right. I thought it for a moment last night and then got scared my certainty would jinx it so moved back to cautious world again. Man oh man it’s a crazy road. Give those embies a kiss. I’m thinking of them. Xx
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Wooooohoooooo!!!
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He he yup!
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Dude, that was so all over the board my brain was ping-ponging!!! I couldn’t imagine living inside your brain for all of that!! But WOW! this is awesome! I don’t understand half of the words, but it sounds great! 😀 Seriously, totes happy for you right now!!!
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Yeah my brain had a hectic week. Poor brain. I put it through a lot with my crazy. It IS great. Best great we’ve had so far on this journey!
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Okay, that number is freaking awesome!!! I am delighted for you!! Also, when I get hit with anxiety I tend to stop breathing like a normal human being – shallow breaths at best. I try to take sets of 5 deep breaths multiple times a day, evidently it will help you sleep through the night. When I remember it actually does help, maybe it’s something worth trying for you too?
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I do try to sit down and take some good breaths – I have to as end up feeling like I can barely breathe but I hadn’t thought about sitting and doing a set number regularly. I will try that. Thank you 🙂 I am usually pretty food at managing it these days but last week was madness. Ugh.
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My counsellor taught me to do 5 big deep breaths multiple times a day. She suggested whenever I’m in my car to do it because then I will do it almost daily and at least twice a day because if I leave my house I am 99% of the time coming back the same day. 🙂
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Ah yeah that’s a great idea, to make it a habit. Going to try and do this.
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Ya, it’s a great idea so long as you remember to do it. I’m not always the best, but I do try. 🙂
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Fuck yeah!!! YAY YAY YAY!
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Wooooo happy times.
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I scanned through this before I went in to work this morning, and it was so long and I was just screaming in my head “OMG EM WTF WAS THE NUMBER!?!?!?” lol…So happy to hear that things are plugging right along as they should be!! I’m curious to know what your Dr says about the CoQ10? Did you get an answer on that? Either way, I’m SOOOO happy for you!! Hooray for things go well for you, finally!!! *hugs*
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Haha yes I made you guys work for it and experience a little bit of my world this week. It has been tough but I am so happy with where it is at. My nurse is asking about the CoQ10 when she discusses my result with the Dr this morning. I will let you know 🙂
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The Dr says ok to the CoQ10. Just letting you know as you said you were interested. x
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Thanks!
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Awesome numbers!! Also interested In hearing what your dr says about CoQ10.
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Thanks 🙂 I should hear today and will let you know.
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He has said ok to continue the CoQ10! 🙂
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Great beta number! I go for my beta 3 and first ultrasound tomorrow. I completely understand the high anxiety. I can’t sleep some nights becuz my mind is racing. I hope you can find ways to relax and enjoy yourself. Hoping the positive continues!
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I hope it continues for you too! I think we are close in dates. I am estimating I am 5 weeks 3 days today. We are bump buddies! Ha 😉
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We are exactly the same! I’m 5 weeks 3 days today too! Crazy! Glad to have another IVF person going through the same things as me 😀
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ha that’s awesome! x
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AMAZING NEWS!!!! So happy to hear this!!
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Thank you 🙂 It is definitely good progress 🙂
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I love this so much! I’m so hopeful for you!!! ❤
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Thank you 🙂 How are the twinnies settling in? X
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If little man wasn’t sleeping on me right now I would totally be running around the house fist pumping in triumph!
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haha I love your enthusiasm! Thank you 🙂
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2000 is amazing! Congrats!
Thank god for Saturday, sleeping and your drugs, even reading that was getting me a little stressed 🙂 hahaha. I am hoping you are able to breathe a little better now my dear.
I have to admit I am starting to feel the anxiety coming to the end of my first month after the surgery. I so want to experience my first double lines on a pee stick, but the hope is wavering still.
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haha yeah it wasn’t the cruisiest week my brain has ever had lol Oh I bet you are having quite the time of it yourself. Eeeeep. I know that feeling of wanting to see the lines. It sucks. Hang in there honey. **Hugs **
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Thanks 🙂 Same to you.
Hoping for my first stripes 🙂
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That is bloody amazing! Well done you! It’s so hard not to worry about everything little thing but try to enjoy it. You’re PREGNANT! And you’ve given me hope for starting cycle #3 xx
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Well I love that my story is giving some hope. That’s awesome. And yes, I am slowly coming around to the idea that I am actually PREGNANT and things are going well. Good luck for round 3 xx
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Yay for those fantastic betas!
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Hehe thanks! 🙂
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