Here we go again.

So I did the more sensitive First Response pregnancy test when we got home from our little outing this morning and once again I seem to have fallen pregnant during my IVF prep cycle. It seems the removal of the endo and perhaps my priming meds really seem to work together nicely and make me fertile.

Here it is…the test.

preg test 1809

I’m not yaying this time which I feel guilty about but I’m just so tired by it all. And seriously, I’ve been bleeding for about 5 days now so it doesn’t make me feel as hopeful as I could be. I had full flow Monday and lighter bleeding since but it’s definitely more than spotting (just got off phone from acupuncturist and she is sorting herbs for this). The line isn’t that dark – I’m estimating I’m 13dpo – and I just had a miscarriage so I feel like the odds just aren’t really in my favour when it comes to pregnancy but anyway, it is what it is.

I’ve put a call into the clinic and I guess there will be a HCG soon but maybe Monday as it is Friday here now. I’m actually OK with Monday as then it has a chance of not being an exceptionally low number. I don’t know how much more I can stand of the highs and lows.

Someone get excited for me so I can just hang in there. I’m exhausted by the roller coaster today. Mucho love.

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66 thoughts on “Here we go again.

  1. Oh hon, really I want to be excited for you, but honestly the first thing I thought of when I saw the pic on your post was Oh no. Well now this explains the hormones!!! So I’ll point out the positive for you that your body is doing the right things with the progesterone and estrogen!!

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    • haha that was pretty much my reaction when I saw the second line coming through in the first minute of the test. I walked away and set the timer on my phone so I didn’t have to stand there and stare at it. Freaking roller coaster.

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  2. I’m going to go with my first response in your last post…maybe its implantation bleeding. Some women get their period regularly throughout pregnancy, so maybe it’s just something crazy going on like that. Good luck with this one!

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  3. I am excited for you! You are pregnant! Hells to the yeah. I am beyond annoyed that you are having to go through all this rigmarole, but still do happy that you’re getting pregnant like a champ.

    I can’t imagine how exhausting this is. Fingers crossed for a super solid beta. Xoxoxo.

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  4. I will be excited for you too!!!! I always try to be positive and I certainly hope this works out in your favor. Sending you all my positive thoughts and vibes.

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  5. You know…when you say to your mates “that’s it! I am done with men!” And the next day you fall truly madly deeply for the love of your life?
    I feel like that about this. You’ve gone “Nuh! No babies this way. Over babies. Whatevs.” And the universe had gone “We’ll see about that Missy!”

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  6. Oh jeez Em! I’m glad to see you’re so freaking fertile!!!! Holding out for you and a great beta. 13 dpo is really early and that line looks about how mine looked at 7&8dp5dt which is equivalent. Crossing everything!

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    • ha I know. The one bonus of this is that my fertility seems to have gone through the roof since the endo removal. lol I’m a massive proponent of getting rid of that stuff now! Anyway glad the line matches. I’m not doing any more home tests. Can’t stand the head fuck. The betas are enough!!! Thanks xxx

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  7. Go lady! I must say I think the candy stripes do you justice πŸ™‚
    I know how you must be feeling, actually that’s not true, I can’t imagine the tumultuous emotions you are experiencing because it is different for all of us. But we are all here for you and we are all happy for you πŸ™‚

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  8. OMG Em. This was right at the top of my reader when I logged in. I can’t make head or tail of it… bleeding 5 days (so around 8dpo), but quite heavy, now spotting… and a positive test?!! What the hell? Can implantation bleeding be heavy like that? Seriously, this is messing with my mind so god knows how you must be feeling. Well, the endo removal has definitely woken everything up, that’s for sure, but what now? I’d be going out of mind… But I AM excited, even though it seems like a completely crazy situation. I don’t know how you’re going to get through the weekend, but hang in there gorgeous. I want to squeal and jump around, but I won’t – I’ll wait and see what happens. Love and hugs xxxxx

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    • Well of course I’ve been reading about implantation bleeding and there is always someone who bled for longer but it’s not the normal but what is normal??? I am actually doing OK with waiting. It is what it is and nothing will change that (I say this as I am awake checking WP at 3am so my words are more zen than my actions lol). Thank you xxxx

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  9. “… also know that you can and will endure any outcome. Xoxo” and “…I’m glad to see you’re so freaking fertile!!!!…” I second these sentiments. It is so strange. It is good. It is too hard. It is not too hard. It’s the point at which you have to just be and quit even thinking about it or it will hurt too bad. I don’t know, but I do know that I keep thinking of you and wondering why you have to go through all this. Not that that helps. But love and affection your way. Terri

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  10. Well crap on a cracker! Congratulations, I’m excited for you and sending you some big bundles of pink sparkles to get you through the weekend! And lots of big hugs – it is what it is and you will be able to handle it all like a champ! All you’ve been through has led you to this moment, and right now, you are okay. That’s all you have to worry about. Right now, you are okay. And if you can get through right now, then you can do anything!

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  11. Wow! This is exciting and terrifying all at once! I read in one of the comments above that you don’t plan to pee on more sticks and I think that makes you one very wise women! I like your plan to wait for the beta’s and see what happens (of course, I totally understand if you cave and pee on more sticks).
    I hope the emotional roller coaster slows down and lets you off to enjoy a much more pleasant ride for the next 9 months or so! πŸ™‚

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    • Ahhhh that would be soooooo good. Fingers crossed hey. I don’t think I’ll pee on the sticks. I realised last time after peeing on 3 and having them look lighter while my beta went up they were of no consequence and all they did was make crazy!! I need less of the crazy! So trying to foster that πŸ™‚

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  12. Ah my sweet friend! Every time I make my way back I have so much to catch up on with you!! Holy crap. My jaw hit the ground when I saw this post! I am praying for you my love! You feel and process the way you need to and the rest of us will lift you in prayer and keep on believing that good things are coming your way. Sending you big big hugs!

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  13. Holy shit! I was behind on reading posts and just saw this.

    I’m guessing you’re feeling all over the place – same as all of us. I read that you’ve been bleeding, too? Oh I really hope that’s just due to your body being in over drive. I am rooting for you girl and I know this is scary but it means you can get pg with help so that’s a wonderful thing to hold on to when you start to worry. I’ll be looking for updates, grow little bean, grow. Hugs.

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