I know you guys want me to stay positive and hope for the miracle but I just know that this isn’t going to be the case for us this time.
Yesterday around lunchtime or so I passed a blood clot. After this consistent bleeding began and it has been a series of blood and clots ever since. I have woken this morning with cramping. I think this, along with all the signs which I’m going to list below, indicates a definite miscarriage.
- Complete loss of symptoms (which I previously had)
- Waking Saturday morning and feeling that this baby was no longer growing inside me. I just knew. It feels different.
- Dodgy beta on Friday – it didn’t not go up enough for someone who was 6 weeks pregnant. I suspect it was already on its way down.
- Loss of blood and clots on a consistent basis for about 18 hours now.
I emailed the clinic again last night and asked if based on the blood loss I could get another beta this week. I have a full on work day today so rather than kill myself trying to get out for bloods I’ll probably just leave it until tomorrow.
Thank you so much for all your support. You guys are amazing. I don’t know where I would be without you.
I told way too many people I was pregnant and I was convinced that this baby, conceived out of nowhere and such a surprise, was going to be the baby we got to take home from hospital. I haven’t given up yet. We will go into another IVF round as soon as they let us. I will have another baby. I feel it.
I am so sad to not feel pregnant anymore. It is such an amazing feeling even from the very beginning when symptoms are so slight. I felt full with growing life. It was beautiful and I was blessed to have that gift even for such a short time.
Onwards we go…