Email to the clinic

I have been sitting here mulling over everything tonight and how my clinic won’t book me for a scan for 2.5 weeks because they think based on Friday’s beta that I’m only 5 weeks pregnant, rather than 6 weeks pregnant. It is impossible for me to be only 5 weeks pregnant. It just doesn’t work. So I’ve sent my nurse an email explaining this and played a bit of hard ball about it. I’m with a clinic and I expect their help so I have firmly put the ball in their court. Don’t fuck with me when I’m on a mission! Β Here it is:

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Sorry to be a pain about this but I can’t possibly be only 5 weeks pregnant. So I’m either starting to have a loss or I don’t know what is going on. If I am 5 weeks pregnant than that means I ovulated about 3 weeks ago – which was somewhere between days 28 and 32 of my cycle depending how far along in the 5th week you think I am. I last had sex on day 18 of my cycle. I know sperm can live awhile but not THAT long. It just isn’t possible.

I don’t know what is going on right now – I am assuming that a miscarriage is starting if my numbers are low enough that you think I’m 5 weeks. What can be done to get some clarity round this because I’m not comfortable with doing nothing and waiting for a scan in 2 and a half weeks to then potentially see an embryo that stopped growing. It isn’t fair that I should have to wait that long for clarity when I’m with a fertility clinic that has options to help me seek it.

What do you suggest?

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Too far? Too bad. I can’t live in this state for the new couple of weeks. I need more answers.

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47 thoughts on “Email to the clinic

  1. Hey, I know exactly what you are going through as before my current pregnancy I have been through some really rough times. I’ve been reading your last few posts about how you feel something’s not quite right. All I can say is trust your own feelings and emotions. I’m sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but if I was you then follow your heart and go and see if you can actually see someone. Your right to want to get answers! Hope this helps, I’m here if you need to just get it all out to someone πŸ™‚ xx

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    • Yeah me too. I was being all nice and letting them guide because I don’t want to be THAT person but it’s too late for that now. Obviously THAT person was needed. I don’t mind if I don’t get a scan this week, but I at least want another blood as I did not like that beta on Friday.

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  2. Even if you are stressing for nothing they should want you to be a stress free as possible surely putting your mind at ease should be a priority for them regardless of whether or not they think you are right. Stick to your guns sister! Xxxxx

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  3. Totally reasonable – well done on emailing them. They shouldn’t keep you waiting that long – you know your dates. I hope you get some info soon. This waiting around is horrendous for you all 😦 xxxxx

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    • Yeah it really suck. If my numbers are suggesting a pregnancy that far behind it isn’t a good sign but I just need to know. If a m/c is coming then I want to be prepared if I can. xx

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  4. Good for you. I would do the same thing. I actually might show up Monday morning if their answer to the email wasn’t sufficient. A lot harder to say no to a scared pregnant lady in person. At the very least they should give you another beta.

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    • Ha I hadn’t thought of just showing up. Mostly because it is a 45 hour drive from my house I think lol I actually work a lot this week and then have activities for Monkey the other days so it would be tricky to do that this week but it is certainly an option for the following week. I’m going to keep this one up my sleeve! Thanks! And yes, I’d actually settle for another beta this week. The numbers aren’t good if they think I’m only 5 weeks. I want to see if this is a trend as that will tell a story in itself.

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  5. I think it’s a great email. I hope they get back to you and get you in on Monday.
    I agree with the first comment, about trusting your feelings. We all want to believe that our instincts might be wrong about things like this, and that things are just fine. But I remember when I had my miscarriage, I knew on the second ultrasound, when they tried to tell me that things were fine, that they weren’t. I knew there should have been at least a fetal pole and probably a heart beat by that point, but there wasn’t. A week later I started to bleed. I tried to convince myself everything was fine, because they told me it was, but I should have followed my gut from the beginning. Not that I want your gut to be correct, I’d much rather that baby be growing strong…but we have gut feelings for a reason.
    If you need anything, let me know. *hugs*

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    • You know I have been thinking of your miscarriage a lot through all this and how you just knew and all of us were saying no it might still be fine yada yada. But you knew it was off. I guess that’s how I feel now. I’d love to be wrong on this but have to be honest and say it doesn’t look good. *sigh* Thanks for the support lovely. Hope you are doing ok too xxx

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    • My clinic is 45 mins from my house. If you have been following my blog then you will know I’ve spoken to my nurse on the phone a number of times. It is now the weekend and I can’t phone her so email it is. If you want to be mean to me when I am in a vulnerable state then GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG and never return. I have seen you do this shit before and tried hard to be really nice to you but I am not putting up with it anymore. Go away.

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  6. I think your email is perfect. You are clear and concise in seeking answers to what is a very valid point. I don’t remember what your beta number was but I would have to assume it is high enough that you would at least see the sac at this point. I am still hoping and praying that everything is ok

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    • It was 2700 so surely they’d see something??? I think it varies for everyone and I guess a scan with nothing could be more traumatising at this point from their point of view. I’d be happy with another beta this week and scan next week. That’s my goal so see how they respond and go from there. Thanks for your support. X

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  7. Is it worth going to see your FS instead of the clinic? Im not sure how it works at yours, but from ours, for anything outside of a cycle we go through the doc rather then the clinic. For instance after the miscarriage I went back to see our doc as a gynae but the clinic were not involved.
    From her I got a scan done and had some answers.
    Hope this helps.

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  8. Could you go to your GP and ask for a dating scan? I don’t know how it works but a friend of mine didn’t know when she conceived and had to have that dating scan at around 6 weeks or so? I might be wrong though… And that email is fine, they should be accommodating your concerns. They clearly haven’t had to wait for news so highly emotional and anticipated. I so hope that things start to go smoothly for you soon though Em x

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    • The trouble the the GP angle is that she knows I’m being handled by the clinic so probably wouldn’t want to step on their toes. However I could just go to one of those bulk billing centres and get them to send me for one and it something I considered. Anyway I’m prob not going to worry now. I think it’s all over….just passed a clot 😦 Emailed the clinic and asked if I can have a beta this week to confirm what I think is happening. *sigh*

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      • Oh god I really hope that it isn’t what you think it is and it’s all something simple that can be solved. I am really thinking of you and i know there isn’t much that we on here can say to make you feel better but please know if you need anything I am here! I hope the clinic starts providing a bit more support and help. xx

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  9. This was the BEST letter ever. I know we’re adults and we have to advocate for ourselves and you did, beautifully, but on your behalf I am angry that you would even need to! In what universe is it ok to leave a patient in emotional limbo for that long when they have the resources to give you an answer. And I also think you have enough stress as it is, having to make your case when you think you may be miscarrying is ridiculous.

    On another note, I am so sad this is happening. I’m hoping the hcg is just slowing down a bit but I am like you: I get a strong sense of these things and when you know, you just know. I’ll be checking for updates from your clinic about next steps. Hugs and love being sent your way.

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    • Thanks so much lovely. I think it was so shit I had to advocate for myself too. The cynic in me thinks that they knew this was going to happen from the low number and that’s why they pushed my scan out so far.

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