Today I was so brave!

Before the whole blood saga began I was actually having a really great day. I did something that I am normally so afraid of and kicked its arse. I did it with grace and ease and not a single tear – and trust me, when I do this thing, there is normally a lot of shaking and tears.

Friends, I went to the dentist. Now before you scoff at me for making a big deal about it let me tell you, it is the thing I have been most afraid of my whole life. For awhile there I had a dentist who prescribed me Valium to take before each appointment. I was THAT bad. I have also had a clean and some fillings under a general anesthetic by choice. Yes, I elected to be put to sleep just to have a scale and clean done without pain. 

So as you can see, I’m a big fat wuss bag when it comes to the dentist. I think it is almost 5 years since I last visited. It’s incredible that my teeth aren’t bright yellow to be honest (and they’re not). Truly!

The main thing that got me there today is that Eric has been seeing this new dentist in his area who he has raaaaved about but Eric is totally a ‘I visit the dentist twice a year no matter what’ guy so I didn’t really care what he thought about this dude initially. But then he told me about the work he did with gums in more detail and it piqued my interest. You see while I have pretty good teeth with only about 2 or 3 fillings I do tend to have a lot of trouble with the gums. I keep them under control but barely. Dentists always frown at me about them.

Anyway Eric rode me like a mofo until I made an appointment. We had some clanger fights about it but I finally did make it and I’m really glad I did. I did a couple of things today which I really think helped me keep it together. Firstly, when I woke at 4am and thought oh shit it’s dentist day, instead of laying in bed and peaking out about it I did a little meditation on it. Now let’s be clear about something here – I am a meditation novice. I don’t really know what the fuck I am doing but I have a crack and really, that’s the best you can do. Today I just imagined in my mind the appointment going well and not hurting as much as I thought it would. .

Then when I got there I didn’t let myself get worked up in the waiting room. I just kept a lid on that shit (although I did mark myself as a 10 – Petrified – on the scale provided on the registration paperwork).

The dentist was such a gentle man. A really really really really really nice dude. He explained every little thing he did and was not the butcher I have experienced on my many previous dental visits. He didn’t want to give me a local or gas because of the pregnancy so the cleaning that he did do – and we didn’t do the whole mouth today, just the worst lot of teeth at the front (apparently plaque at the back was like cement WHOOPS) – I did drug free. He took regular breaks for me to gather myself and I just spent the entire time imagining my happy place. I spent the whole time he was poking about in my mouth with a sharp tool with my eyes closed thinking about my baby. And reminding myself that I have been through LABOUR before and survived because I’m fucking tough and a warrior woman. And that any pain that I might feel would only be temporary and that I COULD DO THIS dammit without being a stress bag. If I felt myself tensing, I told myself to relax. Tensing makes the pain worse. This is something I could have remembered but didn’t when labouring my son. I’m totally using it next time.

And I did it. And it wasn’t that bad. I’m going back in a month to get the remainder of the clean done which he says won’t be as bad as what we did today. I’m actually really looking forward to getting my teeth and gums in awesome shape but mostly to not being afraid of going to the dentist every 6 months. I must inform him now that he is not permitted to retire in my lifetime…bahahaha


21 thoughts on “Today I was so brave!

  1. Well done you! I too have a pathological fear of dentists largely due to 2 separate extractions that they said would be “easy” that resulted in 2 hours in the chair with tooth still in or half in and a follow up appointment the following day with the oral surgeon. I now cry like a baby every time I need to go near the place!!


  2. well done brave lady!! I had a bad phobia for quite some time because of a butcher dentist…finding ‘the one’ for your dentist is so so important! Honestly, I don’t know how some dentists can keep practicing with their terrible chair manners…I didn’t realise there were nice ones out there until I was 27!!!!


  3. Now that that’s out of my system, I have to grudgingly agree that the dentist can be a scary time for me as well, and I go to one who specializes in enormous babies. He gives me novocaine with his “magic finger” (no lie, this happens in my adult life), and I get nitrous oxide for cleanings. I so get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good job!! I used to be terrified of the dentist, too. When we were little our parents never took us, so the first time I went I was 18. They surgically removed 4 molars, with NO sedation (I should have been put out), and by the time they got to the 4th the novacaine wore off and I could feel it. No good! I worked as a receptionist at a dentist years later, and they finally got me over my fear. I learned that it shouldn’t hurt that bad for a cleaning, and if it does then you’re going to the wrong person! I’m proud of you facing this fear and finding someone you’re going to be (kinda) comfortable going to. Great job!


  5. It feels good to find a practitioner who fits! I’m picturing the guy in my head now. Dental health plays a huge role in total body health. Heart studies and Alzheimer’s studies, to mention a couple, support this. I wonder which happens–the teeth are bad, leading to poor health—or the body/gut biome/nutrition is bad and leads to poor health, including the teeth/gums. No matter. Congrats on doing what needed done!


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