Wigging out a little

You are probably reading the title of this post and thinking wigging out? What is wrong with this woman? She had a week book ended by great GREAT betas. What more can you want? And I did have that week and it was fabulous but it was definitely the toughest so far in terms of waiting and keeping my brain sane.

Thursday was a really tough day. Really tough. I’m not sure if it was to do with the fact that I ate my weight in cinnamon donuts the day before. (word of warning: do not buy the bulk pack because it is on sale. DO NOT). Sugar is a toxin right, we know that, and it fucks with your moods so I am thinking maybe a combo or the sugar plus the hormones (which are clearly raging so yay) just left me feeling a bit depressed on Thursday. Big lesson there.

I am also extremely irritable. Poor Eric. I am going through this phase where I want to see him more and for us to have family time as I am feeling so connected to him and then every time I talk to him, even on the phone, he annoys the freaking CRAP outta me. For example, I just had a go at him as he said Monkey has his hair. Rather than just go yeah whatever I went on this big rant about how it is MY family’s hair and recounted all the people in my family who looked like Monkey when they were 4. I mean, who the fuck cares?

So yeah, thank god I’m pregnant so he can put up with me. Right now he laughs in response to my craziness (which is good, it makes me laugh too) but I’m not sure how long he will be laughing for if this goes on for 9 months. Ha!

So it’s all a bit strange right now. In one sense I feel pretty zen. Like when it comes to the pregnancy I mostly just feel awesome and not that worried at all. But everything else, well that’s annoying. I’m even annoying myself with this attitude. And you can only imagine how I am dealing with an almost 4 year old right now.

As far as other symptoms go things are pretty moderate still. I have sore boobies – mostly in the middle of the night, smells are still pretty crazy – move away from me with your perfume!, and I am waking at about 4-5am every morning. Apparently that’s pregnancy insomnia and that’s a thing. I still have pretty good energy levels but am tired at night but I think that’s more from the night waking than anything else. Oh and yesterday at Dreamworld Monkey went on so many rides by himself that little rip snorter of a kid and I almost cried every time because I was so proud of him for being brave.

So yeah, hormones. They’re cranking.

The clinic is super happy with my progress. I need to have one more beta and that will be in one week’s time. I’m assuming that after that they will book me in for a dating scan. I’m dying to find out exactly when I ovulated and how far along I am. It’s weird not really knowing!

I am so grateful for my little miracle after waiting for so long. We actually started trying for no 2 exactly 2 years ago this July just gone. What a journey. I feel nervous even saying stuff like this, like it’s a done deal, when I know we have so many more milestones to tick off and roads to travel down but today it is real. Today I am pregnant and I am growing a healthy little baby inside of me and that, that is damn beautiful.

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26 thoughts on “Wigging out a little

  1. Feel better! Sorry your hormones are screwing with you, but it’s cool that you’re feeling so good about the pregnancy. Could you try like a yoga class or an acupuncture session to help regain some balance? I’m so so happy for you!

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  2. You sound like I was last cycle with the BCP lol! I couldn’t stand myself with my attitude. Hopefully it doesn’t last a full 9 months for you! Glad that overall things are going well though. Still so happy for you!!

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  3. It is beautiful 🙂 And oh boy – I am so there with the craziness and moods. I swear I’ve been through every emotion on the spectrum since I got pregnant. A combination of hormones and anxiety and the relief of putting all the crap of ttc behind us. Absolutely everything you write to us I will be right there to say it’s all okay. It really is all okay!! I am just hoping and praying that all goes well for you at that first nerve-wracking scan. xxxxx

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