Ugh. Today sucked. There’s no other word for it. I spent the entire day like a lovestruck teenager staring at my phone willing it to ring. I even had the phantom handbag ring on a number of occasions. You know the one. It sees an otherwise sane person frantically remove everything from her bag in search for said phone so sure that it is ring ring ringing, only to find that no one has tried to call at all. Then you press a few buttons, makes sure it works and put it back within easy reach where it promptly decides to bury itself in the bag cave.
Thankfully I had one of my sessions with the fertility coach prebooked today. It was great and the hypnosis we did at the end was really effective this time. I actually went so deep into it that I can’t even remember the second half of the session. I only came to when she said my name at the end and started to count me out. Apparently this is the best response as you go deeper and are more receptive to the hypnosis. Yay for me.
As for PGD, well, i should never have called yesterday prompting them to chase down the day I would get results. It has left me with a day clouded by a fair bit of anxiety and phone craziness over an outcome that is out of my control anyway. I called the Drs rooms by mid afternoon as hadn’t heard anything and…they were closed. Right. Well guess they won’t be calling me then. Next stop I called the clinic who called the lab and called me back. Apparently one of my results needed to be sent to London for analysis which means something weird is going on that they don’t understand with one of the embryos. Fuckity fuck it.
It was at this point I felt it was time to come clean with Eric. When it comes to medical crap I am like the poster child for weird results. I always seem to end up with the unexpected so I don’t know why I thought it would be different for this journey.
Anyway, basically we don’t know and we aren’t expecting to know until Tuesday now. At least I can just go about my business the next few days not expecting my phone to ring any second. That is a welcome relief. I felt hopeful this morning but now I just feel scared.
In other news I have run 3 times so far this week. I’m a rock star. Boom.
Have a great Easter everyone!