In every house the decision is different but at our house I’ve chosen to share a little bit about our trying to conceive journey with our 3 year old son – obviously at a 3 year old level. The main reason I decided to do this is because we had baby tummies everywhere and so he was asking me a lot if I had a baby in my tummy. I could just say no but I don’t think there is any harm in him knowing that it isn’t always easy and sometimes mummies and daddies need to work hard to make the babies.
So my go to line when it comes up has generally been something like: “No, Mummy doesn’t have a baby tummy yet. But Mummy and Daddy are working really hard to try and make one so you can have a baby brother or sister”. He gets that. He then tells me “I want an Oscar one”. So the order is in. Very cute.
Recently when I’ve had the egg collection and been seeing the Dr a lot I have actually shared with him that mummy is seeing a Dr so her and daddy can get more help making the baby tummy. “Sometimes it is just a bit tricky and Drs need to help us”. I mainly chose to do this as I don’t like to lie about where I am going and he was getting worried that I was sick so it really is easier just to be a bit more honest. None of the information is harmful. It is just the truth.
You wonder how much they take in at the time as the concept is complicated but to my surprise he really gets it.
We had a playdate with a couple of friends yesterday and one of the mummies actually has quite a prominent baby tummy at the moment. This was a conversation about it we overheard between my monkey and her little boy.
My mummy has a baby tummy!
My mummy is trying to get a baby tummy. She is seeing the Dr to help her so she can have one soon. She is trying reeeeeaaally hard.
Bless. It was so cute.
Obviously I have made a decision that this information isn’t secret from the world as my 3 year old can blab it whenever he wants but that’s OK with me. You should clearly do what is right for you. I just wanted to share this in case anyone else was wondering how they might handle talking to any existing children about their journey. Kids can and do surprise you and I think this level of information is not too much for a little one at all. There is no shame in needing a Dr to help you have a baby and I honestly don’t think it is too much for kids. As long as you aren’t promising them a baby in the end. Trying is the key word here that we use and it works well for us.