IVF – #1 – the hurdle I didn’t think we’d stumble on

Today is fertilisation day. What does this mean for those of you not playing the IVF game at home? Well it means that today I find out how many of my eggs were actually fertilised by sperm after spending 24 hours hanging out in an incubator.

I had 16 eggs in my harvest if you recall. Of those, 14 were good enough to be submitted for fertilisation (this is a great result). Of the 14 only 2 fertilised. Two. 2. Fucking 2.

I am pretty shocked. I should have known something like this would happen. I tempted fate by actually saying to Eric that I wasn’t worried about this number, that given that we’d conceived a number of times previously we should get a great fertilisation rate.

Just like we’d fall pregnant easily because we dd the first time. Just like I never thought I’d have fertility issues. I almost feel like everything I think will be OK the universe decides to throw at me as difficult and shit.

Anyway I feel like a complete cow for whining as we got 2, right? And 2 is better than zero. I should be grateful for small mercies. AND all you need is one to take. AND odds of falling pregnant in the first 2 embryo transfers are actually ridiculously high so it’s not like we aren’t in there with a big chance.

So I am grateful. And a bit gutted and fucked off too.

Apparently Dr Davidson often transfers a bit early when there aren’t a large number of embryos to choose from so instead of going in Day 5 (Sunday) for my embryo transfer it may actually be Day 3 or 4 instead. We just have to wait and see how they go and if they divide the way they are supposed to. This is the stage I am worried about. Our embryos haven’t divided so well inside me – this is the glitch we have been facing. So I just have to wish and hope that things will be OK.

The clinic is recommending ICSI if we have to do another egg harvest. ICSI is where they actually take an individual sperm and inject it into the egg to force fertilisation. Successful fertilisation is more likely this way.

We asked if we could do that with the eggs and sperm we have left now that aren’t fertilising but the clinic doesn’t offer this service. It is apparently called Rescue ICSI and has a very low rate of success as it is not done when the eggs are fresh. They said some clinics do offer it but not many due to it’s very low success rate. Fair enough.

At this stage they are leaving the eggs and sperm in the incubator in case there are any that do a late fertilisation. You never know. They are calling me in the morning to update.

Anyway, YOU ONLY NEED ONE. And we have two. So I’m just trying to keep this in perspective.

That’s all for today.

~Ems~

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30 thoughts on “IVF – #1 – the hurdle I didn’t think we’d stumble on

  1. Oh my freaking dear!! I wish I could smother you with a big hug right now. At least you have two still in the running *and* it has been known to happen that some eggs take a bit longer to fertilize. I’m sending you and those eggies very happy thoughts. I’m really sorry that you had to deal with this similar situation. Xx

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    • It was too late for me when I learned of it, but maybe you could ask your RE if they do “rescue icsi” where they try to fertilize the others that did not fertilize naturally. Some clinics may while others may not. I don’t know how common it is…

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    • Thanks lovely. I thought of you when all this was happening and it made me realise that I should be more grateful. You must be looking at my whine and thinking “I wish I’d had 2”. I hope my whining hasn’t frustrated you too much xx

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  2. I’m sorry it wasn’t better news, but it sounds like you have a good perspective… two little chances right there! I’ve a few IVF cycles where I only got one or two embryos and I know how disappointing it can be. Got everything crossed that your little two make it xx

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      • Yes! Only took 4 full cycles and 2 abandoned ones… I hope this pregnancy actually sticks properly!

        It’s total shit but the first cycle often seems almost like a ‘practice’ cycle where you get to see how you respond to the meds, fertilisation rate, etc. I have a friend who had a very similar cycle to you and used ICSI the second time and had 100% fert. Hopefully you won’t need a second time though 😉 Good luck x

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        • Wow this is all good news. I hope you have a nice sticky baby in there too. That is a lot of trying before getting your bub. You are amazing for getting through it all with such a great attitude. 🙂 x

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  3. Oh hun, i’m so sorry that your results weren’t what you were expecting! But you’re right you do still have 2! And 3 day transfers are great – the sooner those babies are back in your belly the better. And at least you know for next time that ICSI is probably the way to go 🙂 xx

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    • Yes that is so right. It also means that now I know why I was having so much trouble falling so that is actually pretty good too. My friend in the UK said her clinic only do Day 3 transfers and she got preggers from one so I feel better about that prospect now. Thanks for the lovely message x

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  4. Hoping and praying these 2 will be sufficient. I can understand your disappointment that you don’t have more as backup, but let’s hope these will hang in there and maybe a couple more will pull through!

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  5. Hey now! Congrats on 2! After the struggles you’ve had, I think 2 is a great number! This is so exciting! So… is it all just sitting in a dish waiting until it’s time for you to come back in and then they like, grab the turkey baster and put it all back inside you?

    Yeah, don’t tell me until I have to know – I don’t want that floating around in my head! So, Yay! 2!! That’s awesome! 🙂

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    • hehe thanks. Well they are sitting in a dish in an incubator and they should be trying to divide and develop if they are good little eggies. Waiting for a call from the lab today to see how it is all going.

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  6. Oh no, lady! I’m so sorry that happened. I mean, yes, you still have two, which is great, but I’m sure this is still very disappointing. As craptastic as it is, I think IVF #1 is really a learning process for the doctors: how you respond to the meds, how/if your embryos fertilize, etc. Even though it sucks that most of those buggers didn’t fertilize, the silver lining is that you likely know your problem now! Hopefully these two embryos will stick like hell and you will never have to do another IVF ever again, but if you do, you’ll be going in armed with more information and the knowledge that ICSI is the route for you. Sending good thoughts that more fertilize and that these two embryos are FIGHTERS. I bet they are–you seem like a mighty strong woman, so there’s no reason why your embryos won’t follow in your footsteps!

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    • Yes! Knowing the problem is definitely the silver lining. It all makes sense now this not conceiving thing. Phew. I feel validated for moving to IVF and that is a good feeling. And yes, let’s hope they are little fighters my two little fertilised eggies. I can’t wait to hear from the clinic today… Thank you for all the kind thoughts. 🙂 x

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