So clearly I wan’t up the duff last month. Sorry about the lag in updating you guys. I suck. I was pretty fucked off about it even thought I knew it to be the case. i went out on a girls lunch on the Sunday my period came and had an absolute bender. Such an immature thing to do really – self medicate with booze – but that’s what I did. The whole thing had put so much pressure on me. I felt like one of those pressure cookers, bubbling away, aching to explode.
Incidentally I saw my psych the day after and we chatted about how to deal with stress better next time so let’s hope I’m not so self destructive in future cycles.
To help with that I’m going to embark one what I am calling 90 Days of Healthiness. The goal, instead of depriving myself of things, is to have a little checklist of the healthy things I want to achieve each day to nourish my mind as well as my body.
So far I have something like this:
1. Eat 2 serves of fruit.
2. Eat 3 serves of veg
3. Drink 2L water
4. Do something that nourishes my mind and fills my “happy” tank: yoga, meditation, dance session around the house.
5. 30 mins of cardio – walk, run or gym. Any variation and intensity is fine.
6. Reduce alcohol. Drink no more than 2 units of alcohol in a sitting and no more twice per week. (got this suggestion from a fertility book (and my psych who promotes flexibility) where the woman acknowledges that it is hard to abstain on and on and on and on when there is no end in sight. We just feel deprived). Of course, during the 2WW I will abstain completely.
7. Reduce sugar intake. I can have a sweet treat on 3 out of the 7 days in the week. Again, trying to promote flexibility and reduce deprivation.
8. Limit to one cup of caffeine (coffee, tea etc) per day.
I think if I work on making sure these things are incorporated into my day then I will be a healthier version of myself. In particular my mind, stress and anxiety will all benefit greatly. I have been doing a bit of a yoga already and find it is working really well to calm me. I feel good.
As for the IUI…at the beginning of my cycle i called my specialist and asked if there was any medication I could go on to help with the whole fertility thing. He had me in for an appointment and we agreed to try a low dose of Clomid. Although I do already ovulate on my own, I ovulate late and this can sometimes impact egg quality. So the idea was to bring it forward a bit.
The Clomid comes with a risk of ending up with multiple follicles ready to release eggs. The Dr advised that if I had 2 eggs he would still proceed but if I had 3 he would cancel the treatment. He is really against pushing for multiples. He believes it to be harder for the mum and the babies (true). I crossed all my fingers and toes and hoped for the best.
I had my Day 10 scan yesterday and I had a nice juicy follicle at 15 which is a good size for this point (I only had an 11 last time). YAY! As well as the 15 I had an 11 and a 12 which is pretty cool (although they probably won’t produce eggs you never know) so the Clomid seemed to do the trick. If I’m not successful this cycle the Dr has said I can take it one extra day next time but I don’t really want to think about not being successful this cycle yet. The focus is on SUCCESS.
I’ve even created one of those dream boards this week with babies and family right there smack bang in the middle. I actually listed 3 children as the goal!??!?! I’m crazy.
On the weekend I ran in a 14km run for the first time ever and it was amazing. It was a real achievement for me to reach this goal. Once it was done though I thought to myself “OK, now it’s time to have a baby. I am ready”.
So every day I repeat this affirmation: I am ready to have this baby.
Hopefully this baby is ready to have me.
IUI scheduled for Monday the 18th so not long to go. Will update you when I have more info.