I’ve been googling 6 days post IUI and 7 days post IUI and 8 days post IUI like an obsessed person so I figured that maybe I should add a post to the mix to help others out there like me when their time comes.
So today we are 8 days post IUI and I woke up with that lower back pain / dead feeling in the pelvis region that I would normally associated with an oncoming period. Eric says it is surely too soon to tell but I can’t remember how far in advance I get this pre-period feeling so who knows. I’m definitely not getting pregnancy symptoms but again, probably too soon to tell.
For awhile there I was getting some weird stabby pains on the RHS (which is the sign I ovulated on) so I had quite a bit of hope in the first week (well it was intermittent hope – sometimes I wondered if I was unlucky enough to have an eptopic pregnancy) but those hopes have now gone, replaced by that heavy pre-period feeling.
I’ve had terrible anxiety this past week. The stress of the whole situation is clearly weighing on my mind. My main anxiety symptom has been shallowness of breath. Thankfully I know and understand the feeling now so the likelihood of it progressing into a panic attack is pretty low but it is unpleasant at the same time. I actually got a bit of a stitch in my side the other day from trying so hard to take deep breaths. It’s a bit shit. Interestingly my panic attacks / anxiety all came to the fore when we were trying for a baby the first time. Obviously there is something about the situation that I find incredibly stressful.
I am so sick of trying for this baby. I WANT the baby. I really do want the baby. I am just so sick of trying and trying and trying and trying and not getting pregnant. I am so lucky to have one already. I can’t imagine how awful this must be for those women who are trying so hard for the first one. My thoughts are always with them on this journey.
I feel like every damn person I know who has been trying is falling preggers – even those who have difficulty are falling. I am, of course, so so so so pleased for them but man, I want my turn. At the same time I am following some blogs where people are also experiencing terrible losses which is worse than never even falling in the first place if you ask me. If you guys stop by here please know that my heart goes out to you too. Such sadness must be with you.
Anyway, this has been the most depressing post EVER. I suck at this personal journal style blog. My other blog is much more entertaining I think (when I get the time to post in it!). Sorry about that folks. I guess things in this little part of my world just aren’t so amazing right now. The rest of my life is good but this part is a little sucky.
Will try to be more cheerful and hopeful next post.