8 days post IUI

dealing-with-depression-cant-get-pregnantI’ve been googling 6 days post IUI and 7 days post IUI and 8 days post IUI like an obsessed person so I figured that maybe I should add a post to the mix to help others out there like me when their time comes.  

So today we are 8 days post IUI and I woke up with that lower back pain / dead feeling in the pelvis region that I would normally associated with an oncoming period. Eric says it is surely too soon to tell but I can’t remember how far in advance I get this pre-period feeling so who knows. I’m definitely not getting pregnancy symptoms but again, probably too soon to tell.

For awhile there I was getting some weird stabby pains on the RHS (which is the sign I ovulated on) so I had quite a bit of hope in the first week (well it was intermittent hope – sometimes I wondered if I was unlucky enough to have an eptopic pregnancy) but those hopes have now gone, replaced by that heavy pre-period feeling.

I’ve had terrible anxiety this past week. The stress of the whole situation is clearly weighing on my mind. My main anxiety symptom has been shallowness of breath. Thankfully I know and understand the feeling now so the likelihood of it progressing into a panic attack is pretty low but it is unpleasant at the same time. I actually got a bit of a stitch in my side the other day from trying so hard to take deep breaths. It’s a bit shit. Interestingly my panic attacks / anxiety all came to the fore when we were trying for a baby the first time. Obviously there is something about the situation that I find incredibly stressful.

I am so sick of trying for this baby. I WANT the baby. I really do want the baby. I am just so sick of trying and trying and trying and trying and not getting pregnant. I am so lucky to have one already. I can’t imagine how awful this must be for those women who are trying so hard for the first one. My thoughts are always with them on this journey.

I feel like every damn person I know who has been trying is falling preggers – even those who have difficulty are falling. I am, of course, so so so so pleased for them but man, I want my turn. At the same time I am following some blogs where people are also experiencing terrible losses which is worse than never even falling in the first place if you ask me. If you guys stop by here please know that my heart goes out to you too. Such sadness must be with you.

Anyway, this has been the most depressing post EVER. I suck at this personal journal style blog. My other blog is much more entertaining I think (when I get the time to post in it!). Sorry about that folks. I guess things in this little part of my world just aren’t so amazing right now. The rest of my life is good but this part is a little sucky.

Will try to be more cheerful and hopeful next post.

Ciao

~Ems~

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9 thoughts on “8 days post IUI

  1. You don’t have to be cheerful sweetie, it’s okay to just be honest because sometimes life does just suck. It’s a big suck sucky suck fest. And my heart and ovaries ache on your behalf! 😦 Sending you good thoughts and super preggo energy!

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  2. I have felt like this so, so many times, but you also have the added pressure of iui. Don’t apologise – it’s not happy and smiles all the time and the days in the two week wait really do pass as slowly as an ice age. The waiting and waiting and more effing waiting, each and every month, is enough to drive anyone nuts. It’s especially hard if (and I think we are alike in this respect), you are used to controlling and organising everything nicely. The lack of control over baby-making is bound to make you feel anxious and stressed out (it has frequently made me feel like screaming).
    Trust in the fact that iui greatly increases your chances – it hugely swings the odds in your favour. And – feeling like your period is about to come is (cruelly) pretty much the same as the first pregnancy symptoms. I always find these days the hardest – you know implantation should be on the cards, you expect to feel something, you get down because you feel the same as always.
    You are two days ahead of me and over halfway through now. I’m deluding myself it’s all systems go, so you can read my depressing monolgue when i get a bfn – it’ll be unapologetically bitter and twisted 😉
    If I could, I’d hold your hand and we could wait together. Planetary separation makes it physically impossible, but in my mind I am right there with you xxxxxx

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    • Thank you so much for this gorgeous message, Rose. I wish we could hold hands through it all too!! That part of your comment made my eyes well with tears. Poor little me is a wee bit sensitive at the moment. The 2WW always sucks but this is def one of the worst. I admire your happy positive attitude at the moment and think you are simply amazing. I need to take a leaf out of your book. xxx

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  3. I haven’t really for words at the moment that can make you feel better but I am thinking of you and sending you huge virtual hugs. X

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