Trying to conceive: February 2014 – the roller coaster ride

Trying to conceive really blows.

I’ve struggled this week. A lot. Today especially.

I’ve been feeling quite flat and I haven’t been exercising as much because of the whole running / implantation thing so that certainly hasn’t helped. I need my exercise endorphins or I run right off those rails. Big time. 

I’ve been doing that detox so I should feel amazing but I think that is all being overshadowed by the sadness I feel with this whole trying to conceive palaver.

If you read my last post you will know that the acupuncturist announced that my temps weren’t high enough for the luteal phase (the 14 days post ovulation) so it was unlikely I would have conceived this month. So I was sad about that. But then they did start to rise bit by bit every day and with them they brought that incy bit of hope.

To tell you the truth I was longing to give that acupuncturist the bird and tell her that she fucking didn’t know everything after all, so there.

Well, turns out she probably does know at least stuff about that as today, 6 days post ovulation, my temp dropped by 0.2 degrees which is quite significant for this sort of thing. It is a pretty early drop too which is concerning.

I’ve been doing my research and I am actually pretty certain I have a luteal phase defect. I have a bunch of the signs:

  • short luteal phase
  • no sharp temp rise after ovulation, just slowly increasing
  • early temp drop during luteal phase
  • tender breasts right after ovulation
  • potential thyroid issue

It is essentially a low progesterone issue…usually.

The good news is that this is an issue that can be rectified, even naturally, and that Progressence Essential Oil stuff I was talking about is specifically for this sort of thing.

So I can’t wait for that fucker to arrive. HURRY UP!

I also have a visit with a Natural Fertility Doctor in less than 2 weeks time so I’m really ready to see her now and see what she thinks about all this. Apparently she is quite the terrier – doesn’t not give up until she finds out what the problem is. Oh and I also booked an appointment to see my therapist this week. We meet on a needs basis now and I reckon I’m in the zone. I’m struggling a little.

Well, today I’m struggling a lot. I woke with a massive blister under my top front lip for no apparent reason. And a headache. Kiddo woke at 5am too and didn’t resettle, even in with me. Man, it’s always on the days you can least deal with it. I had a cracker of a headache too. It was killing me. The whole thing was killing me.

I’m definitely going for a run this afternoon. I need to let off some stream. And start to feel less depressed. Far out. Thank god for friends is all I can say. You guys on here for a start and also my real life friends. I caught up with some this morning while taking Kiddo and his best little buddy to the park and it was the bomb. I felt so much happier being out there in the fresh air, talking to my peeps. And the boys were a delight and made it so much fun.

I also realised that I should be thankful that we are on this journey now. That I didn’t decide to wait and wait for a different man or a later age as the older I get the more complicated this sort of thing is likely to become (progesterone also tends to decrease as we approach menopause). So there is a silver lining and I’m working hard on being grateful for that.

It interferes with my sulking and being miserable though so I try to not give it too much airplay.

Kidding. But not really. But kidding. Errrrr who am I kidding?

I think that’s all for this update. Now, Kiddo has gone with his dad and seriously, my butt is not moving from this lounge for awhile. I’m going to go and read a book.

Thanks for listening.

~Emily~

********************

If you are interested in knowing more about this Progessence Oil you can find a load of stuff on the internet. I found this video useful as it explains what the difference is between using the oil to taking hormones orally to try to correct the issue. Fascinating stuff and definitely worth a try. I’ll let you know how it goes once I’ve tried it.

 

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22 thoughts on “Trying to conceive: February 2014 – the roller coaster ride

  1. I know exactly where you are. Lots of people seem to really suffer when AF arrives, but for me it was always this time – from 4-10dpo – that I felt the most helpless and grieving. It’s the time miracles should be happening but every month I just knew nothing was going on. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed, just in case. I could have written all of this – I always sank in the two week wait and hated it. For me, day 1 of a new cycle was a new start and a fresh opportunity. Hugs and hope xxxxx

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  2. I had a period of time where I got really discouraged trying to conceive Teddy Bear. I think we let our minds get too involved. I’m glad you are going to see your therapist so you can work through some of this. Also, if you feel like you need to run, go for a run! Lots of people get pregnant and don’t cut back on their physical efforts.

    Full disclosure: I am a skeptic and don’t buy into all the acupuncture, detox, alternative medicine business because scientific evidence does not back them up. That being said, is the “Natural Fertility Doctor” actually a MD? If not, I would suggest seeing a medical doctor about any fertility issues you are having an not relying on an acupuncturist to be giving you information on things she/he really isn’t qualified to advise you on. Ok. I will stop. I am not going to harp on you about this kind of thing because it is not harmful to you, but I did want to say that so maybe you could get some concrete answers to help you feel better.

    Much love you to you!

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    • Yeah the exercise stuff I was basically trying to reduce only a little as my friend’s Dr (a real one) recommended it to her when she was trying even though there is no evidence to support it. I was exercising 6 days per week so that is a lot. Trouble is once I cut a day off here and there it just resulted in me cutting more than I intended.

      I know what you mean about the natural therapies stuff. I have always been VERY pro science and still am but have actually had major success with the naturopath for my depression and anxiety this past year so it has given me more faith in it all in recent times. You are right that none of it has evidence EXCEPT acupuncture. Acupuncture is the one thing I’ve read in all my research that is supported by some science. Yes the Dr I am seeing is an MD. I wasn’t sure how to explain her though without going into detail. She is an MD that practices holistically. So she’s a GP but also uses natural therapies. She will use more traditional methods where required but also brings natural therapies into the mix too. She has some qualifications in the natural fields too as well as her medical degree. She isn’t a specialist in the way a Dr at an IVF centre is (presumably an OB?) but rather she specialises in fertility if that makes sense. I guess fertility is her main focus.

      I like this approach as I’m not quite ready to see a Fertility Centre (even though I have a referral from my Dr – i know that as soon as I do they will put me on a bunch of hormones and hormones fuck with me big time. They make me CRAZY. I can’t even take the pill because of it. So this way I am getting some medical answers without taking that full next step. If all this doesn’t work after 3 months (and this last month of seeing the acupuncturist counts as one) then I’m off to the fertility centre so fingers crossed!!! x

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      • I’m sorry I made you feel like you needed to defend your choices. I debated saying anything at all because I didn’t want you to have to do that.

        I wouldn’t want to have to take a bunch of hormones either. I stopped taking birth control years ago because I don’t like altering my body either. I do enough of that with caffiene and wine. Haha.

        I am interested to know if this “luteal phase” issue is a real thing. My experience with alternative practitioners is that they like to make up things and then get you to buy a bunch of their herbs or homeopathic “remedies” that won’t actually do anything anyway. That’s the main reason I wanted to know if you had a medical doc. You’ve got enough stress with all of this that I didn’t want you to also have to worry about some condition that might not even be worth your time and energy.

        AND, I will freely admit that when I was weeks overdue with Teddy Bear, I paid actual money to see an acupuncturist twice with the hopes of kicking me into labor. I knew it was none sense, but I wanted so badly to get that baby out of me. If nothing else, I met a couple great people and had a few hours of pure relaxation!

        As always, much love to you and I wish you the best. This all sounds so very frustrating and demoralizing. Not knowing what is going on is THE WORST.

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        • Oh the luteal phase thing wasn’t suggested by them but rather is something I’m curious about from my own research. And it’s a real thing. A medical clinic would put me on progesterone for it. 🙂 The natural people just offer progesterone in a natural form – most commonly something with wild yam. Whether or not that works is another thing. That is why I am keen to see this fertility MD next week. She will offer natural solutions or science based ones – whatever she feels is appropriate. And she can actually have my progesterone levels tested (it’s a blood test, quite common). I think Kate mentioned she had low progesterone when she fell pregnant and the Drs had her on something to help. So yes, it’s a real thing for some women.

          I didn’t feel the need to defend my choices AT ALL. Rather I simply felt we were having a conversation! Btw I did some research on google scholar and looked at some academic papers on acupuncture yesterday and I am right. There is now Science to suggest it is effective and is certainly significantly more effective than placebo. 🙂 It doesn’t mean it works for everyone all of the time but neither does all forms of modern medicine. Apparently drugs only have to perform better than placebo to be considered effective. Fascinating stuff!

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  3. Ignorance is bliss in some situations, wouldn’t you agree? Reading this took me back. Being knee deep in that BS is such a roller coaster of emotions. My heart goes out to you. As another poster said, hang in there. Just keep pushing forward. (Or charting/humping/running..really whatever gets you through the day)

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    • hehe thanks lovely! It IS such a roller coaster ride. And it is totally BS. I’ll be glad when it is over! I know I will get there and I will eventually have a bun in this oven. My ex is so supportive in that way. Money is no issue. He said yesterday “Don’t worry, we will throw everything Australia has at it. You are getting that baby”. BLESS. So it will happen. I just need to survive getting there.

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  4. I hope that Progesterone oil works!! Glad you are seeing someone to talk to during this time. It is all so stressful when you have zero control over the outcome even when you try as hard as you are. Hang in there and do whatever you need to do for yourself…even if it means shoving that gratefulness aside to just feel the frustration to its fullest. What are you reading these days?

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    • I wrote back to this but it hasn’t appeared. Boo 😦 I am reading a book called Questions of Love by Michelle de Krester. It won the MIles Franklin Award last year which is Australia’s most prestigious literary prize. She must have been bonking one of the judges because I simply can’t see how this is possible. Easily one of the most tedious books I have EVER read. Do you have any great book recs?

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      • Ha! That’s funny 🙂 I think I mentioned a great book I recently read in a past post…called The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved it. I’m almost finished with Bringing Yoga to Life. It’s good but one sentence almost ruined it for me in a recent chapter. I love self help books but am on the lookout for another good novel. Are you on Goodreads?

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  5. Pingback: A triphasic chart | The Secret Life of Emily Maine

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