Trying to conceive really blows.
I’ve struggled this week. A lot. Today especially.
I’ve been feeling quite flat and I haven’t been exercising as much because of the whole running / implantation thing so that certainly hasn’t helped. I need my exercise endorphins or I run right off those rails. Big time.
I’ve been doing that detox so I should feel amazing but I think that is all being overshadowed by the sadness I feel with this whole trying to conceive palaver.
If you read my last post you will know that the acupuncturist announced that my temps weren’t high enough for the luteal phase (the 14 days post ovulation) so it was unlikely I would have conceived this month. So I was sad about that. But then they did start to rise bit by bit every day and with them they brought that incy bit of hope.
To tell you the truth I was longing to give that acupuncturist the bird and tell her that she fucking didn’t know everything after all, so there.
Well, turns out she probably does know at least stuff about that as today, 6 days post ovulation, my temp dropped by 0.2 degrees which is quite significant for this sort of thing. It is a pretty early drop too which is concerning.
I’ve been doing my research and I am actually pretty certain I have a luteal phase defect. I have a bunch of the signs:
- short luteal phase
- no sharp temp rise after ovulation, just slowly increasing
- early temp drop during luteal phase
- tender breasts right after ovulation
- potential thyroid issue
It is essentially a low progesterone issue…usually.
The good news is that this is an issue that can be rectified, even naturally, and that Progressence Essential Oil stuff I was talking about is specifically for this sort of thing.
So I can’t wait for that fucker to arrive. HURRY UP!
I also have a visit with a Natural Fertility Doctor in less than 2 weeks time so I’m really ready to see her now and see what she thinks about all this. Apparently she is quite the terrier – doesn’t not give up until she finds out what the problem is. Oh and I also booked an appointment to see my therapist this week. We meet on a needs basis now and I reckon I’m in the zone. I’m struggling a little.
Well, today I’m struggling a lot. I woke with a massive blister under my top front lip for no apparent reason. And a headache. Kiddo woke at 5am too and didn’t resettle, even in with me. Man, it’s always on the days you can least deal with it. I had a cracker of a headache too. It was killing me. The whole thing was killing me.
I’m definitely going for a run this afternoon. I need to let off some stream. And start to feel less depressed. Far out. Thank god for friends is all I can say. You guys on here for a start and also my real life friends. I caught up with some this morning while taking Kiddo and his best little buddy to the park and it was the bomb. I felt so much happier being out there in the fresh air, talking to my peeps. And the boys were a delight and made it so much fun.
I also realised that I should be thankful that we are on this journey now. That I didn’t decide to wait and wait for a different man or a later age as the older I get the more complicated this sort of thing is likely to become (progesterone also tends to decrease as we approach menopause). So there is a silver lining and I’m working hard on being grateful for that.
It interferes with my sulking and being miserable though so I try to not give it too much airplay.
Kidding. But not really. But kidding. Errrrr who am I kidding?
I think that’s all for this update. Now, Kiddo has gone with his dad and seriously, my butt is not moving from this lounge for awhile. I’m going to go and read a book.
Thanks for listening.
If you are interested in knowing more about this Progessence Oil you can find a load of stuff on the internet. I found this video useful as it explains what the difference is between using the oil to taking hormones orally to try to correct the issue. Fascinating stuff and definitely worth a try. I’ll let you know how it goes once I’ve tried it.