Reactions from family and friends

I can honestly say that I have never encountered one negative comment from anybody that knows the truth about my situation and that is quite a few people.

When I embarked on this journey I was sharing an apartment in Sydney with my brother which is actually the best place I could have been. When everything happened with my back he also encouraged me to go on the donor list with IVF and go it alone.Β 

I filled my mum in about it all immediately and as a result all my aunties were told and everyone thought it was a fabulous idea. I have always been a pretty independent successful self sufficient person so I think the view was that if anyone could do it then I could.

I also told a number of my close friends who were all really supportive.

Once things got going though and Eric was so involved it confused people so I think they assumed that we might work things out. I never told my work as I was too embarrassed so there was a bit of lying there. As it was there were frequent visits throughout my pregnancy to visit Eric so no-one ever really questioned it.

Once Kiddo was born and Eric was living with me I just let people assume it was all smooth sailing and that we would move north together as a family although I did tell my closest friends and family that we things weren’t exactly harmonious. Β I never breathed a word of it to new people I met though, including the mums I met at mother’s group.

That made it quite difficult as I felt like I was living a lie. It was actually pretty damaging for me mentally during what was already a difficult time.

Once we moved north (we never did stay with Eric by the way as I refused to sign that fabricated financial agreement) I resolved to be honest with people about my situation moving forward. I didn’t really go into details on how we’d gotten to be at that point. Just skimmed over that we hadn’t been together for long when we’d decided to have a baby so things just didn’t work out. I didn’t think they all needed the gritty details of the past. I have been completely forthcoming with people moving forward though. All my new friends up here know we are trying for baby no 2 as a separated couple and they are extremely supportive.

My family all know too (except my Dad, only because he is an alcoholic and we aren’t close) and my close friends who don’t live locally also know what I’m up to.

So why the need for a secret blog? Well I don’t think anyone knows the whole truth. People are around at certain times so get the story that is applicable at the time and then they fill in the gaps themselves. Here, I wanted to use it as a platform to get the whole truth out of me and down into a journal of sorts. Then it will always be there as I’m sure one day when I am older I will be glad that it is recorded.

Also, on a personal level it is proving to be exceptionally healing. And I want to go on about other (unrelated) stuff that day to day people don’t know.

I hope that answers some questions out there. Keep them coming! And thanks for reading and offering me your support. It is impossible to convey how much it means to me.

xo

 

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13 thoughts on “Reactions from family and friends

  1. I totally get wanting a secret place to really air the deepest of feelings and truths. I with I had that, actually. I may go there at some point, because far too many people in my ‘real life’ know about my current blog, so there’s only so much I’m willing to reveal there.

    I’m glad this is so therapeutic for you.

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  2. Good – I’ve been waiting for this blog! I was wondering how people in your life reacted! It’s great that everyone was so supportive! I remember years after I had Mr. T asking my dad some question about it and dad goes “Kate, you didn’t give us any choice but to support your decision. You told us you were pregnant and having the baby. There was no discussion, so we supported it.”
    Ah, what a dad! πŸ™‚ So, I’m glad to know that you had support! I remember the first time I got a glimpse, you said something very matter of fact “we aren’t together but decided to have a baby together” and I was like “Oh, that makes sense! How cool is that!” And I agree, everyone in your life doesn’t need to know the nitty gritty details. And, I’m super glad you needed the cathartic release of a secret blog – I’m loving this!
    Okay, I’m rambling. πŸ™‚

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  3. I never would have guessed how therapeutic a blog could be and I can only imagine even more so for you with this story. I feel honored to be able to know the whole truth, it is a wonderful story and I can’t wait to hear what is to come when you get pregnant!

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