Trying to conceive: July and August 2013

THIS is why I started this secret blog in the first place. I have been DYING to blog about my TTC journey as it is taking so freaking long and haven’t been able to as my blog is public to everyone who is anyone. It also wouldn’t please Eric if I was publicly blogging about all this so I need to respect his wishes.

Lucky for you I kept notes!!! haha I bet you are relieved. If anything it has shown me that our minds are powerful. We can generate symptoms where there are none over and over and over again.

Here’s what’s been going on.

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July 2013

7dpo – ok now I’m really starting to think I’m knocked up. I’ve had small waves of nausea the last few days and my boobies are a hurtin’ but haven’t wanted to read too much into it. THEN I cooked a salmon stir fry for dinner tonight (Eric’s fav) and I couldn’t eat it. The fish taste was overpowering and I just couldn’t eat it. Eric said it was sensational (yes he does describe food like that – it’s not my cooking, it’s just because it’s food) so I know it was pretty much the same as usual. Uh oh think I’m up the duff.

9dpo – mega cranky today. Back to thinking I’m not preggers and that it’s just rotten PMS

12dpo – egg white omelette totally gross this morning as was ham sandwich at party. Preggers?

13dpo – couldn’t cook the steak for dinner. Convinced it stunk. Binned $20 worth of good steak tonight. BAAAHHHHH.

14dpo – got period bang on time. So I guess I’m not pregnant then.

Guess we’re off for round 2. Not before I chug a couple of glasses of wine tonight.

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August 2013

Postive opk day 15 of cycle. Also again day 16 and day 18 (using regular ones this time – not digital – so I don’t think they are accurate enough). Just bonked on all of them to have our bases covered.

I didn’t actually get ovulation pains until day 18 so I’m certain I ovulated then. It concerned me a bit as I have a strict 28 day cycle at the moment – it’s like clockwork – so I’m worried there isn’t a long enough luteal phase to allow implantation. If we don’t conceive this month I’m going to talk to the naturopath about that as I think some of the stuff she’s got me on is regulating my cycle and I don’t want to be on it if it’s going to screw with my luteal phase. I’d rather have a 32 day cycle (which I had when conceiving Kiddo) and have enough time for everything to occur.

I have not allowed myself to even consider symptoms this month. Last month did my head in and made me feel like I didn’t even know my own body so if I’ve remotely felt any of those symptoms this time I simply haven’t bought into it.

Yesterday (about 13 dpo – or maybe 11dpo, ovulation was weird this month) I had a mega meltdown in Big W. I snapped at the girl at the photo counter big time and then felt so bad about it and the fact that my son’s 2nd birthday party invites came out wrong that I promptly burst into tears.  So I’m either pregnant of about to get a mother of a period.

So today is day 28 of my cycle and my period is due. I have mega mega cramps so am kind of expecting it. Way more than I normally get though which is weird. So like I said I’m about to get the mother of all periods or I’m actually pregnant. We’ll see what happens. Funny but last night I felt sure I was pregnant. Wonder if I’m right.

GOT MY PERIOD. FUCK IT. Bang on the 28 days but it waited until evening just to really screw with me.

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TTC SUCKS

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11 thoughts on “Trying to conceive: July and August 2013

  1. TTC and T(not)TC bring on all the same symptoms with fears and worries in the opposite direction, I have those same things happen each month and scare myself to bits that I’m pregnant. Instead of a baby, I’ve got major puppy fever. Crossing fingers for a positive test soon for you!

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  2. I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but hearing all these stories about healthy women having such a tough time TTC makes me wonder what is going in our collective environment (food, air, etc.) and what it’s doing to our bodies. Is it just me or are there way more fertility problems today versus 20 or 30 years ago…?

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  3. Okay, here’s how I know that I’m at a totally different stage in life than the rest of you – I just had to go freaking Google what TTC was! As long as I was there I verified the meaning of DPO, too. Then, as long as I was googling I had to learn what a positive opk was.
    Now that I can communicate in your language I feel better! 🙂
    And let me say how very happy I am to have a 15 yr old, be almost 40 without any desire for more kids and to have the IUD that keeps me from worrying for 10 years at a time!
    Wow! I know it was frustrating for you – but that was super funny to read!

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    • Haha SORRY KATE!! When you are in the thick of it you are using these stupid acronyms so much you forget others aren’t quite in that world. Thanks for finding out what they are 🙂

      Funny how we are so close in age but on totally different paths!!! Your little one is almost grown. And all good if it was funny to read. I try to inject a bit of humour into things and life certainly has a funny side, even in the hard times.

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  4. I’m not so sure about this because I never really worried about not getting pregnant again (took us 6 years to finally get preggers with the little girl) so I never took notes or anything, but I remember I was taking flaxseed when we finally got a positive. Could be a coincidence though.

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  5. I remember you mentioning the invites episode! That was about the same time I was crying in the supermarket because someone was kind to me, LOL! Oh Em (can I call you Em?), I have been exactly there, so many times!! I feel for you *hugs* xxxx

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    • Yes I remember mentioning that to you now!! haha of course you can call me Em! And I know you know EXACTLY how I feel. I really am starting to get an idea of what it must be like for those that try so long to conceive there babies. I was oblivious to this before.

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